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Key Takeaways
- Listening is one of the most-used communication skills, yet often performed poorly.
- Poor listeners may not truly understand the message, can get distracted and might formulate a response before the speaker finishes.
- Conversely, good listeners build better relationships and foster productive teams where members can discuss problems openly.
- Assess your listening skills with this self-test to identify how you can improve.
For many of us, listening is the communication skill we use the most. Yet, many people listen poorly, and they rarely think to improve this important skill.
Poor listeners "hear" what's being said, but they rarely "listen" to the whole message.
They get distracted by their own thoughts or by what's going on around them, and they formulate their responses before the person who they're talking to has finished speaking. Because of this, they miss crucial information.
Good listeners, on the other hand, enjoy better relationships, because they fully understand what other people are saying. Their team members are also more productive, because they feel that they can discuss problems easily, and talk through solutions.
So, how good do you think your listening skills are? Test them below, and then find out how you can improve.
How Good Are Your Listening Skills?
Instructions
Evaluate each statement as you actually are, rather than as you think you should be. When you've finished, click "Calculate My Total" to add up your score, and use the table that follows to think about next steps.
How to Improve Your Listening Skills
Preparing to Listen
(Questions 1, 3, 14)
Good preparation is essential for effective listening. Without it, it's hard to listen to people successfully.
Before you have an important conversation, remove anything that may distract you, so that you can focus and give the other person your full attention. Switch off your cell phone, turn off instant messaging and email alerts, put your work away, close your meeting room door, and do what you can to make sure that you won't be interrupted.
If you know that you won't be able to offer the other person your full attention – for example, if you're working on an urgent task – schedule a better time to speak. However, make sure that the other person knows that the conversation is important to you.
Also, do what you can to make the other person feel at ease. Use open body language, and a friendly tone.
If someone indicates that they want to speak about a sensitive subject, and if this is appropriate, remind them that the conversation is confidential, and that they can be honest with you. (If you're a manager, there may be some things, however, that you cannot keep confidential, harassment, for instance, or negligent behavior. If your conversation is beginning to encroach on these, make this clear to the other person.)
Active Listening
(Questions 5, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
When you listen actively, you not only make a conscious effort to hear the other person's words, but, more importantly, you try to understand their whole message.
To do this, learn how to read people's body language and tone, so that you can identify "hidden" nonverbal messages.
Also, don't interrupt people,or allow yourself to become distracted by your own thoughts or opinions. Instead, focus completely on what the other person is saying. Nod or say "OK" occasionally to acknowledge that you're listening.
If you don't understand something, wait for the other person to finish what they're saying before you ask for clarification.
Above all, don't formulate a response until someone has communicated their whole message, and avoid any judgment or criticism until it's your turn to speak. If you argue or "play devil's advocate" while you listen, you may discourage them from opening up to you.
Tip:
It can be difficult not to formulate a response while the other person is talking. This is because we typically think much faster than other people can speak, so our brains are often "whirring away" while they are talking. You'll need to concentrate hard to stay focused on the person who's speaking, and this can take a lot of effort.
Empathic Listening
(Questions 2, 4, 6, 13)
When you demonstrate empathy, you recognize other people's emotions, and you do what you can to understand their perspectives. As such, it can really help to take active listening to the next level.
To listen empathically, put yourself "in the other person's shoes," and try to see things from their point of view. Then, summarize what they say, in your own words, to show that you understand their perspective.
Also, ask open questions to help them to articulate themselves fully, and avoid using leading questions that "put words in their mouth." This gives them the opportunity to add further detail, and to talk about their feelings.
Importantly, don't fear moments of silence when you listen. Instead, embrace pauses as a way to give them time to finish his point, and to allow them to reflect on what they have said.
Key Points
When you have good listening skills, you not only "hear" what's being said, you listen to the whole message as well. Because of this, you enable others to express themselves fully.
When you need to listen, make sure that you're prepared, and that things in your environment will not distract you. Also, do what you can to put people at ease.
Next, use active listening techniques so that you give people your full attention, and look out for the nonverbal elements of their message.
Finally, take your listening skills to the next level with empathic listening. When appropriate, embrace silence and make an effort to see things from other people's perspectives.
Note:
This assessment has not been validated and is intended for illustrative purposes only. It is just one of many Mind Tool quizzes that can help you to evaluate your abilities in a wide range of important career skills.
If you want to reproduce this quiz, you can purchase downloadable copies in our Store.
