How Emotionally Intelligent Are You?

We all know people who are in full control of their emotions. They're calm in a crisis, and they make decisions sensitively, however stressful the situation.

We also know people who can read the emotions of others. They understand what to say to make people feel better, and they know how to inspire them to take action.

People like this have high emotional intelligence (or EI or EQ). They have strong relationships, and they manage difficult situations calmly and effectively. They're also likely to be resilient in the face of adversity.

So, how emotionally intelligent are you, and how can you develop further? Take our interactive self-assessment quiz below to find out.

How Emotionally Intelligent Are You?

Quiz Instructions

Evaluate each statement as you actually are, rather than as you think you should be. When you've finished, click "Calculate My Total," and use the table that follows to think about next steps.

Characteristics of Emotional Intelligence

Psychologist Daniel Goleman identified five elements that make up emotional intelligence. These are:

1. Self-awareness.
2. Self-regulation.
3. Motivation.
4. Empathy.
5. Social skills.

Terms reproduced by permission of Bloomsbury Press.

Let’s look at how you can develop good skills in each area.

Develop Your Self-Awareness Skills
(Questions 1, 8, 11)

In his 1995 book "Emotional Intelligence: Why it can Matter More Than IQ," Goleman explained that people with high self-awareness are "aware of their moods as they are having them." [2]

To increase self-awareness, learn about mindfulness. This involves focusing on the present moment – including how you're feeling. And keep a journal in which you write about and analyze the emotional situations you experience from day to day.

You also need to understand your strengths and weaknesses to build self-awareness. Do a Personal SWOT analysis, and ask for feedback from your boss, friends, and trusted colleagues to find out how you can improve further.

Develop Your Self-Regulation
(Questions 2, 4, 7)

Self-regulation is about staying in control. To develop your skills in this area, learn how to manage your emotions effectively.

If you often get angry, note what triggers this feeling, and think about why this happens. Use techniques such as deep breathing to calm yourself down, and give yourself time to pause before you respond to emails or requests, so that you don't say something that you'll later regret.

You may also be affected by other negative feelings and emotions, such as anxiety and stress. So, do what you can to manage these feelings effectively.

Accountability is another important element of self-regulation. Take responsibility for your actions and behaviors, and make sure that these align with your values.

Improve Your Self-Motivation
(Questions 6, 10, 12)

Self-motivation is strongly affected by your emotions. When you're distracted by your emotions, you may find it hard to see tasks through.

Boost your motivation levels by developing self-discipline, and by looking for and celebrating small wins – simple jobs that, when you've completed them, give you a sense of achievement.

Also, set yourself longer-term goals. When you decide what you want to achieve, you'll focus on what really matters to you. This can be highly motivating, especially when you connect personal goals with career-related ones.

If you're still struggling to get motivated in your current role, take some time to rediscover your purpose.

Develop Your Empathy Skills
(Questions 3, 13, 15)

Empathy is the ability to recognize other people's emotions and understand their perspectives. Goleman calls this aspect of EI "the fundamental people skill."

To develop empathy, start by simply thinking about other people's viewpoints. Imagine how they may be feeling, and use active listening skills to understand them fully when they express their emotions to you.

Try not to interrupt or talk about your own feelings during the conversation. Look at their body language, too: it can tell you a lot about their emotions.

If you watch and listen to others, you'll quickly become attuned to how they feel.

Improve Your Social Skills
(Questions 5, 9, 14)

Even if you're not a natural "people person," it is possible to develop better social skills.

Start by taking our "How Good Are Your Communications Skills?" quiz to see which communication skills you need to improve on. Then, find out how you can develop trust and rapport with people – this is an essential part of building good working relationships.

Don't shy away from negative situations, either. Learn how to deal with conflict and other difficult situations effectively.

If you're uncomfortable with social situations, work on building self-confidence. Start slowly, but then look for opportunities to practice your skills with bigger groups. For example, you could offer to attend conferences on behalf of your team.

Five Ways to Show Emotional Intelligence Infographic

See Emotional Intelligence represented in our infographic.