In one, three people of varying heights try to watch a baseball game over a fence, but only the tallest can see it. Blocks are brought in for all three to stand on, allowing the person of middling height to see the game as well, providing unnecessary support for the tallest, and leaving the shortest still unable to see. This mimics the impact of some programs designed to foster equality by treating everyone the same way.

A final image shows the crates distributed according to need, with none for the tallest, one for the person of middle height, and two for the smallest. That way, everyone can watch the game. And then there’s a version of the image I’ve seen circulating around the internet where the fence – the systemic barrier – is gone!

The concept of equity recognizes that not only are people’s circumstances different; their needs differ as well. This is the case with the LGBTQ+ community at work.

Microaggressions

Day to day, many LGBTQ+ employees experience microaggressions. These are tiny, irritating ways that people respond to members of a minority differently than they do to others. Often, people committing microaggressions don’t hold any ill will, and they don’t realize they’re doing anything hurtful.

A racist microaggression could be touching someone’s hair without their permission, for instance. A homophobic microaggression could be asking someone in a same-sex relationship, “Who’s the man and who’s the woman?”

Microaggressions draw attention to someone’s difference from a privileged majority group. Those of us in minority groups run into a lot of them. Even when intentions behind them are benign, they wear down our energy throughout the day, and impact our quality of life.

If you’re in a majority group, take a moment to pause and reflect before you comment. Are you calling out someone’s difference in a way that would make them uncomfortable? Would you be comfortable hearing an equivalent comment?

And Outright Aggression

Microaggressions aren’t the most challenging thing we have to deal with. There’s outright prejudice, like my partner ran into when she got into trouble at work. There’s denial that we exist, or that the way we are is valid.

There are times I’ve been told I was “going through a phase,” and times I was told to pretend that my partner was a friend in front of professional colleagues. There are a lot of places where laws, regulations and social norms aren’t on your side; a lot of places where it isn’t safe to openly be yourself.

There’s discrimination, and then there’s aggression.

Laws in some countries are moving forward for some members of this community, but regressing in others for different members, especially the trans population. Violence and hate can come along with this backslide, so we need different levels of support and understanding from our organizations and colleagues.

The History of Pride Month

Modern pride celebrations usually take the form of parades and parties, but Pride started as a protest.

In the 1960s in the U.S., civil rights were for the most part denied to LGBTQ+ people, including simple things such as being served alcohol. The New York City Police would raid restaurants and bars that were known as queer gathering spots.

On June 28, 1969, they raided a bar called the Stonewall Inn, and a group of people fought back. I want to note, during this shaky time for transgender rights, that trans women led the charge.

The Stonewall Riots lasted for six days and put LGBTQ+ rights in the spotlight. Now Pride Month is celebrated with parades and parties, but it started with a group of people willing to fight for fair treatment.

Pride is a matter of human rights, and it impacts a lot of people. If you think you don’t have LGBTQ+ colleagues, it may be because your organization or culture isn’t a safe environment for them to be out. You have the opportunity to guide your team in modeling respect, inclusion and equity.

What's Next?

So, be mindful of your words, actions and policies. This piece touched on the big topics, and there’s always more to know and learn about the day-to-day realities, which will be different depending on where you live and who you work with.  

Check out our resources below for practical ideas on how to model inclusion.

For ideas on how to model genuine inclusion at work, check out our Tips for Creating an Inclusive Culture and our article on Inclusive Leadership, or our Rising Together Book Insight.

Tip of the Week

Negotiate Smarter With a BATNA

By Simon Bell, Mind Tools Content Editor

As a manager, you will often find yourself in a situation where you need to negotiate with another party to reach agreement, so be clear about your objectives and the outcomes you want. You also need a fallback position in case the negotiation fails. This is your BATNA (best alternative to a negotiated agreement).

Any agreement should at the very least be better than your BATNA. To start with, keep your BATNA to yourself. The less the other party knows about your other options, the better your position.

Try to work out the other party’s BATNA. If you know their best fallback option, you’ll know how much room they have to negotiate – so you won’t push them too far.

When you know both BATNAs, you can work out the balance of power in the negotiation. If it’s in your favor, use it to your advantage. If not, try to improve your BATNA: do further research or think laterally. Wherever possible, stop the other party from being aware of their advantage. The more you can level the playing field, the better!

See our article Top Tips for Effective Negotiation for more negotiation advice.

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News Roundup

This Week's Global Workplace Insights

Re-engaging With a Checked-out Manager

Recent findings by Gallup reveal that only one in three workers feel engaged at work. And perhaps unsurprisingly, many of the disengaged are managers.  

Disengaged bosses don’t communicate properly with their teams or develop their skills. So how do you get on in your career when even your boss is phoning it in? A recent article in Fast Company has some suggestions.

First, be proactive. If your manager doesn’t come to you, go to them. They may not be aware of their own disengagement, so seek out feedback and look to reopen channels of communication. Who knows, a little human interaction might even help remove a few roadblocks for them.

Second, look for other mentors. If your boss isn’t cutting it in developing your career, approach other people who might help.

Finally, be self-sufficient. Take the initiative when you need to, keeping your boss in the loop, but not missing out on opportunities while you wait for some action.

What to Do When You're Disengaged at Work

Workplace toxicity often stems from managerial behavior, with about a third of employees attributing toxicity to unethical actions and unfair treatment by their managers, including favoritism and disregarding feedback, as per a survey by INTOO, reported in Worklife.  

Over 70 percent of respondents said they’d experienced some form of toxicity, with managers directly implicated in driving toxicity.  

Managerial behavior can and mostly does impact workplace culture positively. But some managers face challenges, due to poor organizational systems and training, driving behaviors like micromanagement and gaslighting.

The solutions? Better training for managers to address the signs of toxicity, focusing on communication and leadership skills. While organizations should invest in such training, managers can also seek personal development opportunities to improve their leadership.  

For more on the problems of toxic workplaces, check out our article Toxic Leadership and our Book Insight on “Toxic” by Clive Lewis.

See you next week for more member-exclusive content and insight from the Mind Tools team!