QBQ!: The Question Behind the Question

Before we decide if the author's arguments hold up to scrutiny, let's think about who might be interested in them. The book seems designed for broad appeal. It neither tells executives how to make decisions in a fast-changing world, nor instructs new hires on how to scale the corporate ladder. But what it does do is offer a simple message that all of us can take to heart.

So stick around, and find out why you shouldn't be asking "why"; how to decide who you can change and who you can't; and learn the surprising "secret to leadership."

The book is divided into about forty short chapters, most lasting no more than a few paragraphs. While the book does offer a theory of how the world works and a set of principles to follow, the author doesn't lay these out systematically. Rather, they emerge here and there in the book, placed like surprise treats within the anecdote-heavy chapters. This is business literature as Easter-egg hunt.

All of this makes the book a fast and friendly read – there's enough text to occupy an idle evening or weekend afternoon. Given the book's focus on anecdote over evidence, the question becomes: Does it repay even the modest effort it asks of us? Does it teach us anything we don't know, or equip us with tools we don't have? The answer is yes, but ....

Reading QBQ is like talking to a sympathetic but skeptical friend after a bad day at the office. You're on a roll, complaining about how the boss is as thick as pea soup, your colleagues aren't pulling their weight, and the clients can't decide what they want. Gently but firmly, your friend interrupts your rant. "But what was your role?," he asks. "What did you do to solve these problems?" And with that, the conversation moves from venting to an actual search for solutions, from mere unloading to productive brainstorming.

That's the role QBQ plays – and it's a valuable one. A little later, we'll get into why QBQ's advice is necessary but is also not sufficient for negotiating the modern workplace.

But first, in the opening chapter, the author sets the tone for the book. Driving down the road, he sees a billboard looming over the highway. "What ever happened to personal responsibility?" it asks. What indeed, wonders the author. His mind skips to an empty coffee dispenser at a gas station. He notifies the clerk that the coffee has run out. "Not my station," comes the reply. An airline stewardess blames "catering" for a lost movie on a cross-country trip. A clerk at a pizza shop dismisses concern for a lost order with a brisk, "Hey, don't blame me; my shift just started."

Everywhere the author looks, he sees it: a failure to accept responsibility, to be accountable. Blame is the name of the game, it seems. Something go wrong? Not my problem, pal. The other guy did it.

For the author, the problem comes down to, well, a question of questions. What do you ask yourself when things go awry at work? If you're like most people, the author says, you ask things like:

When is that department going to do its job?

Why don't they communicate better?

Who dropped the ball?

Why can't that guy pull his weight? and

When is someone going to train me?

For the author, these questions lead downhill into the swamp of self-pity. They help us deny our responsibility for the situations we face, and thus we surrender our control. Under the influence of these questions, we embrace the role of victim, and our situation deteriorates.

In a more conventional business book, the author might be expected to move into his response to these disempowering questions. Instead, he leaves us in suspense for a while, and turns instead to an anecdote. It's one that clearly had a large impact on the author, as he returns to it often throughout the book.

It goes like this. The author wanders into a packed restaurant at lunchtime. He wants a quick lunch, in and out, and happily grabs a lone seat at the bar when it opens up.

A waiter rushes by, but his arms are loaded with dirty dishes. "I'll be right with you," the waiter says in passing. "Thanks! All I want is a burger, French fries, and a Coke," the author says. "No Coke, we only have Pepsi!" the waiter shouts, exiting the dining room. "I'll take water then!" the author shouts back.

Within minutes, the waiter returns with the author's lunch and a glass of water. A minute later, he drops a surprise on the counter in front of the author: a frosty bottle of Coke. Before the author can thank him, the busy waiter has run off on another task. Finally, when things slow down, the author profusely thanks the waiter and ask him how he had managed to find a Coke.

Turns out the waiter sent his manager round the corner to a store to pick up the author's favorite soft drink.

The author raises this anecdote to the level of a parable. He wants us to take home two messages. First, the waiter reacted to the author's needs without asking a bunch of self-defeating questions. "Why is this guy ordering when I'm not ready?" "Can't he read the menu – it says we don't sell Coke?" "Why am I so busy?"

Rather, he places the order without missing a beat, and then goes the extra mile by looking for a solution to the Coke problem.

The author's second take-home message involves the waiter's relationship with the manager. Faced with a customer-service problem, the waiter didn't hesitate to ask the manager to run to the store; and the manager didn't hesitate to do so. In the author's view, both waiter and manager took responsibility for the situation – and won the restaurant a valuable customer in the process.

From there, the author turns to another parable, this one involving taking precautions to avoid predictable problems. When the author moved his family to a new state, he encountered a vexing problem. Whenever he and his family would go off on bicycle rides, at least one of them would get a flat tire. They soon discovered the reason: a tree common in the area had small but sharp thorns – sharp enough to pierce a bicycle tire. The family went through a period of anger and complaining; then they learned to respond like other bike riders in the area: By buying extra-thick tires, and always carrying a tire-changing kit.

The message here is clear: Don't complain – prepare. If an unpleasant circumstance arises that you can't control, deal with it. You aren't responsible for thorns in the road – but you are responsible for how you deal with thorns in the road – especially if you know they're around.

The example focuses on bike-riding, but for some it may seem, well, a little pedestrian. If that sort of real-life example inspires you to action, then you will love this book. It brims with such commonsense homilies. If not, then it's still worth skimming the book, as it certainly doesn't deserve to be rejected wholesale.

The very next chapter, in fact, contains the book's meat. It delivers the author's idea of how to ask the "question behind the question" and bypass the question that helps you fall into a powerless state. When confronted with a hard situation, train yourself to avoid "why," "when," or "who" questions. These lead to unproductive complaining. "Why does my tire always go flat?" "When is the city going to clean up those thorns?" "Whose job is it to make biking easier?"

To avoid the why-when-who trap, ask questions using what and how. These sorts of questions point us toward useful answers, not trails to blame others. And always construct your question around I: none of the they business. Finally, focus on action.

Applying these lessons to our biking example reveals the power of the technique. What can I do to avoid a flat tire? How can I learn from other bike riders in the area? Once we've trained ourselves to think like that, we avoid the dead-end road of blame, and glide down the path toward solutions – hopefully avoiding flat tires.

Next, the author spends a few chapters looking at applying his ideas to the business world. According to the author, if you could read minds in the typical office, you'd hear a steady crackle of what he calls IQs: Incorrect Questions. These are the kind that deflect personal accountability and impede action like a dead weight hanging over the office.

"Why don't people work harder?"

"Why am I not appreciated?"

"Why did that laggard get the promotion, when I clearly deserved it?"

For the author, these questions make us feel powerless, like helpless victims. They leave us with no recourse but to inaction – and complaining. He suggests other, more positive questions: the questions behind the questions, so to speak. "What can I do to show my worth?" "How can I communicate my strengths better?" "How can I inspire those around me to bring more passion to their work?" The author goes on in this vein for several chapters, contrasting self-defeating IQs with self-motivating QBQs.

Toward the middle of the book, the author drives home a key point. Many managers turn to QBQ techniques because they think their employees need it. They hire the author for events, expecting him to needle the employees about the need for accountability. Not so fast, says the author. At one event, a CEO addressed a group of senior vice presidents, confronting them with a slide declaring that "personal responsibility starts with you." The author leapt to his feet, interrupting. "Repeat after me. Personal responsibility starts with me, not with you." The executives chanted along with him – even the red-faced CEO.

The author stresses that QBQ isn't a technique for changing others. It's based on a simple truth: I can only change me.

Next, the author spends several chapters laying out his concept of integrity – a quality that's necessary, he says, if you're to benefit from QBQ. For him, a person with integrity is one who acts in accordance with his words. He then lays out what he calls his "integrity test." It goes like this: Believe or leave. If you don't believe in a company, if working there means saying things you don't believe, and doing things you're ashamed to talk about, it's time to find a new job.

For the author, we join organizations as vehicles to help us meet our life goals. When they no longer serve that function, it's better to move on than to stick around and bad-mouth the company.

From there, the author bounces around some more, offering breezy anecdotes that illustrate the importance of personal responsibility. Again, for those inspired by such writing, this section will be entertaining; for those in search of more substance, skimming will do just fine.

Toward the end, though, the time comes to hone in and pay attention. At this point, the author sets his gaze on leadership and what it takes to be good at it. For him, it comes down to something we don't normally think of in discussions of great leaders: humility. He harks back to the original story, the one about the waiter and the Coke.

As you will remember, the story turns on the manager running and getting a Coke from the store round the corner. The manager did so at the request of his underling, the waiter.

The manager could have said, "What? Get your own Coke – you're a waiter and I'm the manager." Or, he could have enforced the menu. "I beg your pardon, but we don't sell Coke here." Instead, he quickly assessed that the waiter had created an opportunity for excellent customer service, and he immediately took responsibility for doing his bit. See? Even humility involves responsibility. Clearly, the author is onto something.

Still, for all of its strengths, the book does seem to be missing an important point. Personal responsibility is, of course, a critical quality, and all companies would surely function better if everyone practiced it. The problem is, they don't. Things go undone; details go wanting; client service sometimes suffers; and sales sometimes drop.

It's an attractive idea that an individual's acceptance of personal responsibility – what the author calls the "power of one" – can cure these ills. Of course, leaders have to take responsibility for their own actions, but they often have responsibility for other people's actions too – a fact not accounted for in the author's philosophy. Sometimes bad attitudes are entrenched, and need to be brought to light. That means confrontation, conflict and, when necessary, recourse to firing. By all means, leaders must be humble; but they must also know when to crack the whip.

In short, this slim volume offers plenty of value, but its well-spread nuggets of wisdom are best enjoyed with pinches of salt. Leaders must be humble and responsible for themselves – of course. But not at the expense of standing idly by, grinning with self-satisfaction while irresponsible malcontents bring the company to its knees.

That's the end of this episode of Book Insights. Click here to buy the book from Amazon.