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The internet is awash with examples of Pay It Forward gestures and strangers’ generosity. These spread joy and make others grateful, However, consciously practicing kindness is something you can do all the time, and it needn’t cost a penny. Basic courtesy is something almost everyone appreciates. What’s more, it takes virtually no effort at all. This article shows you how to be more civil at work.
Being civil at work is itself an act of kindness. A recent American survey conducted by Weber Shandwick and Powell Tate revealed an increasing amount of people regularly encounter incivility online. [1] Given the rise in social media usage, these unpleasant encounters happen almost daily. The workplace is one of the few spaces left where people are expected to remain peaceful. [2] That said, the same survey showed uncivil encounters at work were considered even more unpleasant than those faced online, and that incivility is still a significant problem in many workplaces. [3] Nevertheless, the majority of respondents believe a mutual respect between colleagues makes for happier places of employment. So, how can we counter incivility in the workplace and consciously contribute to a better work environment?
1. Listen
Coming up against a colleague with an opposing view can be challenging, but this doesn’t have to turn your dialog into a debate. Treating conversations as something to 'win' tends to put participants on the defensive. Which means they’re more likely forming a response than listening to what the other is saying. So, try to set aside the need to persuade someone to your way of thinking. By staying attentive, you’re showing you appreciate their contribution. It’s reassuring to know someone’s listening to us because it lets us know our views are valid. [4] It doesn’t mean you have to stay silent, and it’s not about remaining passive. Instead, engage them with thoughtful questions and respond politely. You’ll both feel respected, and chances are you’ll gain fresh insight. [5]
2. Use Civility to Build Respect
Civility is infectious and spreads throughout networks. If you maintain a code of civility at work or train staff on how to practice civility, your company gains a reputation for treating people with respect. [6] In turn, when your workplace is known as a safe haven from incivility, it appeals to like-minded employees and customers, which raises the quality of interactions. [7] Treat others as you would wish to be treated yourself. And don't be afraid to ask trusted colleagues or friends for some candid feedback about the situations where you're not the best version of yourself. It might be you get short-tempered when under pressure. How might you tackle that, so it doesn't become an accepted behavior in your team? It's about building your own self-awareness and emotional intelligence, and encouraging others to do the same.
Potentially, if more organizations stuck to a code of civility, these efforts to be kind and courteous could filter further down into society.
3. Be Nice and Boost Productivity
Respected workers are happy workers and far more productive at that. [8] When your staff feel valued, they’re more likely to remain loyal to your company. When incivility runs rampant, performance falls, and employees suffer as a consequence. [9] As the Weber Shandwick and Powell Tate survey revealed, almost 40% of those asked believed civility at work improved their productivity. [10]
Taking time to give thanks for a job well done can go a long way to creating a civil and harmonious work environment. Having regular one-to-ones is also a great way to build rapport, and provide balanced, considered feedback, as opposed to taking team members to task publicly when things go wrong. It doesn’t take much to conclude that contented, productive employees will deliver work to a higher standard.
4. Avoid False/Forced Positivity
While it’s vital not to allow the world’s troubles to shape your behavior at work, it’s equally as important not to force yourself or others into staying positive. [11] Positive thinking is valuable, but avoiding negative feelings may cause more harm than good. Negative emotions and situations provide opportunities for us to heal and grow. [12] In embracing negativity, you can address problems and work through them. It can be tempting to dismiss negativity when faced with it, or put a positive spin on a colleague's concerns. But the kinder thing to do is to acknowledge it and move on. [13] By shifting your mindset to one of growth, you’re more likely to cognitively flourish. [14]
5. Take Responsibility
Civility starts with you. If you want your workplace to uphold an ethos of respect then lead by example. [15] Don’t tolerate incivility. Report serious misconduct because doing so promotes a better work environment. [16] However, you may find it easier to navigate minor instances of incivility by using techniques to become more resilient. [17] Finding common ground with co-workers is one way to do this. Whether you’re both dog owners or enjoy a particular show, identifying something you have in common establishes constructive work relationships. [18] By choosing to be someone who’s understanding, you make it possible for others to do the same.
The great thing about World Kindness Day is that it doesn’t have to end at the stroke of midnight. Practicing civility in the workplace is something we can do every day, and we all have the power to make a difference. Listening, recognizing how beneficial it is for everyone to be courteous, and taking ownership of our actions are a blueprint for harmonious alliances. If you treat good manners and empathy as paramount and are kind to those you work beside, you’ll place yourself in the best position to counter any incivility that comes your way.
