The Relational Lens: Understanding, Managing and Measuring Stakeholder Relationships

Relationships and networks between people make up an organization's "social capital," which is as important for its success as its financial capital. So how can leaders make sure they're paying attention to relationships? And how can businesses measure the quality of their connections and build durable bonds with stakeholders?

"The Relational Lens" shows us how. This book is a guide to getting relationships right. It shows us how to create the best conditions for good relationships to flourish, how to build trust, how to gage the quality of relationships, and how to create a keen sense of community and purpose among the people who really matter to our organization. In short, it helps us to think relationally.

So, who's this book for? It's best suited to leaders of public or private sector organizations who want to ensure the success of their entities by building and maintaining strong relationships with a broad network of stakeholders. Managers and team leaders will also benefit from this book, as will sports coaches, teachers and anyone looking to grow support for a cause or campaign.

In fact, given that relationships are key to everyone's lives, most readers will take away something useful. Whether you have an interest in organizational psychology or simply want to know how to communicate better, there's plenty here for you. Bear in mind, though, that this book is heavy on theory and is written in a formal tone, so it's not an easy read.

"The Relational Lens" brings together four authors who each have 20 years of experience in private and public sector organizations. John Ashcroft is research director at the Relationships Foundation and co-author of two books about relationships and collaboration in healthcare. Roy Childs has worked at a senior level in organizations for decades. He's an Associate Fellow of the British Psychological Society and a Chartered Occupational Psychologist.

Alison Myers is an experienced consultant, facilitator and trainer. She's been a senior managing consultant with Accenture's Change Management and Human Performance practice and is now an ordained Anglican minister. And Michael Schluter is a social entrepreneur who's launched 10 non-profit organizations. He's chairman of the company Relational Analytics and the co-author of two books on relationship dynamics.

So keep listening to hear why organizations struggle to think relationally, to learn how to measure the health of relationships in a business or team, and to hear why face-to-face communication is vital, even in this digital age.

At the start of the book, the authors set out their thinking on the fundamental importance of sound relationships within organizations and between stakeholders. Such connections are assets. They create value in many ways, from better knowledge sharing to lower turnover rates, and from the social and financial benefits of organizational stability to high levels of trust and cooperation, the authors say.

Relationships are also a cornerstone of personal wellbeing, and emotional and physical health. But they can be a major risk factor, too, which is why it's vital to attend to them. Poor relationships between team members or between management and employees can harm a business or public service. Think about the impact of train or postal strikes on levels of public support, or the damage a corporate scandal can do to the relationship between a business and its shareholders.

These may seem obvious points, so why do so many organizations struggle to think relationally? Let's take a look at some of the common traps.

The first reason organizations get relationships wrong is ambivalence. Logically, we may understand that relationships matter, but maybe we're not wholly convinced of their impact on our success. Either that or we don't give them the focus they deserve because they're not an urgent priority.

As leaders or team members, we may want to spend time building relationships, but that desire isn't strong enough to make us change our habitual ways of working. We're focused on sales or the bottom line, or we have too many other demands to deal with.

This leads to the next reason why we don't get relationships right – pressure. We ignore relationships because we have no time, we're short on resources, or because we're overworked. For example, a manager who's overwhelmed with the boss's demands won't have time to invest in staff development and team relationships. Plus, financial pressures mean there may not be the funds for corporate away-days or other team-building activities.

Today's highly connected world is also a reason why relationships suffer. We have too many of them. Anthropologists have suggested we each have a maximum capacity of about 150 relationships. How many connections do you have, counting real-life connections and digital ones? Today, businesses must keep their social media followers well informed, as well as nurturing relationships face-to-face, by email, and by phone. Meanwhile, the employees of a global organization may be dotted around the world, making it harder to bridge the gaps between them and form close relationships.

Finally, relationships are problematic because they're complex and hard to analyze. Organizations often lack data or metrics on the quality of relationships. They don't know what works and what doesn't. They don't know people's likes or dislikes. They don't understand what builds or breaks trust. Without this knowledge, it's too easy to damage or neglect relationships.

We like the way the authors start by exploring where some people or organizations may be going wrong when it comes to having good relationships. We especially like how they look at the problem of "overwhelm" caused by the sheer number of connections people or organizations have. This is something many readers will be able to relate to.

The good news is that the authors have a solution to the problem of poor relationships, so let's take a closer look at that.

For relationships to flourish, the authors say they need to meet a set of criteria. They need a degree of mutual presence, so an opportunity to connect and communicate. They need a story, a narrative that gives the relationship meaning. They need a breadth of understanding so there can be tolerance and reliability. There needs to be fairness in terms of the distribution of power, risk and rewards. And there needs to be a degree of alignment in purposes and values.

Organizations can measure how they're doing against these five relationship goals using a framework called the Relational Proximity Framework. This measures the access people or organizations have to one another and assesses if a person or organization is likely to relate well to another. In other words, it measures how likely the individual or business is to engage with another's thinking, emotions and behavior. Using the framework can help leaders build stronger, more productive organizations, as well as spot where they might be exposed to the relational risk of poor or broken connections.

The Relational Proximity Framework has five scales or domains, which a company can measure its performance against. The goals you've just heard about feed into these domains.

The five domains are: directness, or the use of contact to allow for clear and effective communication; continuity, or how to give a relationship momentum and resilience by giving it enough time to create a story; multiplexity, or breadth of knowledge, which is about gathering information, so people or organizations can anticipate and respond to changes in relationships; parity, or the use of power to promote fairness and participation and build mutual respect; and commonality, which refers to a shared purpose and values that help create a sense of unity.

We like this framework, although we think the authors could have presented it in a clearer way using simpler language. As the authors say, relationships are complex and often difficult to understand, so the framework offers a practical, analytical tool to help organizations or individuals collect valuable data and assess the quality of their relationships.

The authors go on to explore each of these five domains in depth. We don't have time to do that here, so let's focus on the first one: directness.

The topic of how, and how frequently, we connect with one another, as individuals and organizations, is an interesting one in today's digital, globalized age. We live in an era of remote working, flexible working, and videoconferencing. People can be communicating with one another or working together for years without actually meeting face-to-face. Businesses limit the number of physical meetings in the interests of efficiency, but the authors argue that face-to-face contact brings huge benefits, to an individual and to an organization.

Firstly, face-to-face communication aids the quality of our interactions. It involves more of our senses. We exchange messages in subtle ways through touch, body language, and tone of voice that all help to deepen our relationships. We get instant feedback with this form of contact, so we can quickly smooth over misunderstandings that may never come to light in an email.

Eye contact helps people stay focused, while their attention is more likely to wander in a videoconference. It's also much easier to have creative conversations in person than over the phone, and it's more likely people will share more knowledge and build a deeper relationship in a shorter time if they can meet.

Secondly, meeting face-to-face has an impact on our sense of obligation and accountability. For example, it's harder to lie face-to-face than by email. Also, a deal sealed with a handshake carries more weight than one agreed over the phone, so a physical meeting encourages greater commitment to joint decisions. If we can't see someone, we're less likely to be worried about the consequences of our actions. It's also easier to get people to do what we want them to when we meet them face-to-face.

Finally, meeting people in person gives us a greater sense of belonging and builds empathy. Face-to-face contact allows for social bonding, through eating together, say, or other shared experiences. It's also harder to sideline team members if everyone is present at a meeting, which is important for cohesion and unity.

Clearly, face-to-face meetings impact on budgets, but the authors argue that the gains in terms of stronger relationships will likely outweigh the costs. Monthly or quarterly meet-ups between co-workers can give teams a shot of momentum as well as an injection of creativity. Inviting shareholders or investors to meet face-to-face promotes loyalty, trust, and a sense of community.

While some of the authors' points are common sense, they make a compelling case for direct contact within teams and organizations to strengthen relationships. This feels timely, given the rise in digital communication and the temptation to sideline face-to-face interaction.

Having more face-to-face interactions also feeds into the concept of multiplexity, or breadth of knowledge – one of the other domains in the Relational Proximity Framework. The authors have a few useful tips on this theme in a later chapter. They suggest businesses create "talk spaces" – areas that encourage employees to exchange information. This can be as simple as providing a coffee bar or a spacious area for a water cooler, or building chill-out or activity rooms. Enabling people from different teams and departments to eat together at a communal restaurant also promotes the sharing of ideas.

Successful businesses like Google have mastered this concept, realizing that a vital exchange of knowledge and creativity happens when employees relax, eat or play games together. In contrast, overly formal or complex organizational structures get in the way of nurturing healthy relationships.

The ideas in "The Relational Lens" aren't especially new or groundbreaking, but the book is strong on theory and analysis. The authors refer frequently to other experts, academics, and writers, and their bibliography spans 11 pages. Nobody can argue with their experience, and they make a powerful case for thinking relationally, backing up their points with case studies and research papers.

This level of detail and the book's academic approach mean it won't be to everybody's taste. We found it too heavy on theory and felt the authors could have simplified their arguments and used more straightforward language to make the book accessible to more readers.

But, if you're not put off by the book's style and tone, we think you'll learn a lot about the importance of thinking relationally, and how it impacts on the success of both individuals and organizations.

"The Relational Lens," by John Ashcroft, Roy Childs, Alison Myers, and Michael Schluter, is published by Cambridge University Press.

That's the end of this episode of Book Insights. Thanks for listening.