How to Avoid Generosity Burnout

Most of us are eager to help out or "lend a hand" when we see others struggling – particularly at work. It can feel good to be generous, and to share our time, skills and expertise with our colleagues. But when we do it too often and say "yes" to too many things at once it can cause generosity burnout (also known as "collaborative overload").

If you're an "extra miler" – someone who goes out of your way to help others and strives for excellence – you likely enjoy being the one who everyone relies on and whose extra input, dedication and contribution is valued. But problems can start to creep in when you say "yes" to too many things at once or when it's always expected that you'll do so.

These high expectations from colleagues, and even your manager, can soon lead to burnout and exhaustion – mental, physical and emotional.

In this article, we'll discuss the causes and dangers of generosity burnout, and the steps that you can take to avoid it.

What Is Generosity Burnout?

The term "generosity burnout" was first coined by Wharton professor of management, Adam Grant, and researcher, Reb Rebele, in an article published by Harvard Business Press in 2017. [1]

They warned that the value provided by generous extra milers, who are often relied on and expected to pick up additional tasks other than their own, can fall if they become overwhelmed by requests.

According to Grant and Rebele, the main symptoms of generosity burnout are:

• Physical and emotional burnout. Generosity burnout can occur when you there are constant demands on your time. You may feel that you are being pulled in too many directions at once. This will likely impact the quality of your day-to-day work, and can also lead to fatigue, stress and even ill health.
• Resentment and poor morale. You may start to resent your co-workers' demands and expectations, especially if you find it hard to say "no" to them. If this resentment doesn't get addressed, it can begin to affect your performance, morale and emotional wellbeing.
• Lack of engagement. You might find that you have become so busy dealing with everyone else's demands that you no longer have time for the people who really count – for instance, your team members, your clients or even your family members. They can soon become frustrated with your lack of engagement.
• Poor performance in others. Other team members may begin to take advantage of your generosity, and rely on you so much that they become complacent and unproductive. This can also increase the risk of the team's work being delayed or dropping in quality if you are absent or decide to leave the organization.

In the next section, we'll explore some strategies you can use to protect yourself and your team members from generosity burnout.

The Generosity Spectrum

If you're a manager, the first step is to identify how much each of the people on your team contribute. Are any of them an extra miler? Do they trade favors and only give to others as much as they receive from them? Or perhaps they don't contribute much at all, and prefer to rely on star performers to pick up the slack.

According to Grant and Rebele, your team members will likely fall into one of four personality types on what they call the "Generosity Spectrum." These are:

• Takers. This person sees every interaction as an opportunity to advance their own interests. They will behave as if they are entitled to your help and will feel little, if any, guilt about imposing on your time.
• Matchers. A matcher takes but also gives back. They're less selfish than a taker, but will protect their time carefully. They see any additional work that they pick up as a favor or a transaction, and so will expect their generosity to be reciprocated in equal measure by those they help out.
• Self-protective givers. This person is generous but will evaluate the cost and impact of their generosity, both on themselves and the person they're helping. They will limit their generosity if they're too busy with high-priority tasks or feel like they are being taken advantage of.
• Selfless givers. This is essentially the unfettered extra miler. A selfless giver with a high concern for others, but a low concern for themselves. Their generosity knows no bounds, which makes them vulnerable to takers. However, by ignoring their own needs, they risk exhaustion and can actually end up being less effective and helpful to the team or organization as a result.

In his 2013 book, "Give and Take", Grant suggests that the people who make the most sustainable contributions to their organizations are those who go the extra mile, but who can also protect their time so that they achieve their own goals, too. In the next part of this article, we'll look at what you can do to achieve this kind of balance.

Managing Generosity Burnout

Once you've identified where you or your team members sit on the Generosity Spectrum, the next step is to explore strategies that will enable them to be both generous and productive in a sustainable way. There are four key strategies that you can use to do this:

1. Be a Smart Giver

Our work-life balance is one of the biggest things that we risk when we suffer from generosity burnout. So, it's important that we use our time and energy in a smart way, to ensure that we remain productive at work while safeguarding our home life.

Being an extra miler can often make you feel valued and valuable to your team and your organization. But when you take on too much, it can also leave you feeling burdened. You might even find that you end up staying late or working during weekends to get everything done. When this happens it can damage your work-life balance, which in turn can impact your relationships and morale.

To combat this, managers need to help their people organize their time and workloads in a smart way. A good place to start is by documenting people's tasks and the time that they spend on them. You can do this using a DILO timesheet. This information can then be used to delegate work appropriately, so that no one becomes overburdened.

As a manager you can also act as "gatekeeper" for your people's time and coach them on how to say "no" when a task falls outside of their role or responsibility. This will help them to organize and prioritize their workloads more efficiently and – importantly – to protect their work-life balance.

2. Recognize the Difference Between Volume and Value

It can be hard to switch off nowadays because we're "always on." Smartphones, instant messaging, and social media make it easier than ever for us to "check in" with work, even when we aren't there.

But this can cause us to become swamped with low level, low value requests from people that can eat into our time and cause us to lose focus on our main goals. This often happens if word gets around – especially to "takers" – that we're willing to help out and enjoy putting others' needs before our own.

Remember... don't lose focus! Prioritize any requests that come in, along with your daily tasks, and learn how to say "no" constructively and without causing offense. It is also important to consider your own value. Think about your strengths, interests and personal goals, and "give" in ways that complement them.

3. Don't Go it Alone

One of the best ways to go the extra mile for your organization without actually having to put in the miles yourself is to develop your skills as a connector or a facilitator.

When you do this, you'll be able to reduce the pressure on yourself, while also fostering a collaborative work environment. This in turn can help to enhance team relationships and improve your delegation skills.

Of course, you need to find the right balance here. Don't be tempted to pass on lots of requests to other people, as this will likely cause them to become resentful and may even damage your reputation as an extra miler.

If you know that you are the best person for the job, take ownership of it! But, if you think someone else is more qualified, then ask if they can help. And, if you receive a request that will involve work that you particularly enjoy or that will enable you to get closer to your personal goals, then it's a win-win for both of you!

4. Set Aside "Extra Miler Time"

Your time is valuable. So be sure to do what you can to protect it. Set aside some dedicated time each day for dealing with the additional requests and for managing your emails. Choose carefully which meetings you will and will not attend. And make use of online scheduling tools, such as Asanaor Todoist.

Setting up "out of office" or "do not disturb" notifications on your email and IM apps can also help. This will enable you to stay focused on existing tasks, without getting distracted by new requests.

Of course, this may not always be realistic or practical if it's your boss who's doing the asking, because their requests will usually take priority. But, it's important to safeguard your "extra miler time" wherever possible.