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A busy social life can be fun and energizing, particularly if you're a "social butterfly." But even if you really enjoy social events, occasionally things can get a bit too busy. Suddenly your calendar is full of work events, performance reviews, team meetings, parents' evenings, social outings with friends, not to mention family get-togethers.
When this happens it can cause you to feel stressed and exhausted. You might even start looking at your calendar with dread, overwhelmed by all the things you've got coming up.
While it’s normal to want to spend some time alone, particularly when things start getting busy, what can you do when you start finding your social life draining, or even begin to dread the thought of going out "out"?
This article looks at the concept of "social battery," – what it means, how you can identify when yours is depleting, and what you can do to preserve it.
What Is Your "Social Battery"?
Essentially, social battery is the amount of energy a person has for socializing.
The size of someone’s social battery and what activities deplete and recharge it varies from person to person. For instance, someone with a smaller or shorter-lasting social battery may find socializing particularly tiring, overstimulating or stressful, and find themselves needing to recharge it more often.
Although the size of someone’s social battery can vary, research suggests that most people begin to feel fatigued from social interactions after approximately three hours. [1]
What Can Deplete Your Social Battery?
A range of factors can contribute to the depletion of your social battery. These factors may impact people in different ways and to different extents. What drains your social battery is unique to you, but understanding the common factors that tend to impact most people can help to pinpoint where you might need to preserve your energy.
You may find socializing with certain people requires more energy. For instance, interacting with clients in a professional context may be more draining than chatting with close friends and family because you're more relaxed and able to be yourself around your friends. Most people find social interactions that are friendly and easy-going much less draining. Alternatively, you might find that interacting with critical or insensitive friends or family is actually more tiring than spending time with colleagues you have a strong bond with.
Generally, larger group settings require more interaction, are more noisy, and often require you to manage more complicated dynamics than one-on-one conversations. Also, the longer you socialize, the more likely you are to become drained and in need of rest.
Other stressors can run down your social battery, too. For example, feeling nervous about a presentation at work or struggling to find the right venue for an event that you're planning. These kinds of things may create external pressure and stress that then impact your ability and will to socialize.
Finally, your mental health can also significantly impact your social battery. According to Dr Deborah Lee, conditions such as depression and anxiety can easily deplete your social battery. Dr Lee also notes that many people with autism find that their social batteries deplete faster than those of their neurotypical peers. [2]
Signs and Symptoms of a Depleted Social Battery
Luckily, with the right "know-how," it can be easy to spot when your social battery is low. According to psychotherapist Jade Thomas, signs and symptoms to look out for include:
- Feeling stressed or burnt out.
- Less interest in engaging in conversations.
- Feeling withdrawn.
- Feeling depressed.
- A desire to go home during socializing.
- Feelings of dread before an event. [3]
Of course, signs of a depleted social battery may look different depending on the person, and you may find that you experience all or only some of these symptoms.
5 Ways to Preserve Your Social Battery
Now you know how to identify the signs that your social battery is in need of a recharge, the next step is understanding how to do it. Here are some simple tips you can use to preserve your social battery, so that you can save your energy for the interactions that really matter to you:
1. Become Aware of What Drains You
Understanding which situations and stressors tend to deplete your social battery the most can help you to minimize their impact. For example, if you find work events particularly tiring, you may be able to reduce stress by getting yourself organized ahead of time - checking travel, hotels, agendas and timings for the event, so you feel prepared when the date of the event finally arrives. Or prioritizing work events that you really need to go to, and declining ones where your attendance isn't necessary.
2. Take Time to Relax
Learn what activities help you to recharge and set aside some time to dedicate to them. This could be as simple as taking a hot bath, visiting the gym or playing a musical instrument. Research shows that regularly practicing relaxation techniques, such as meditation and breathing techniques, can also help you to recharge. [4]
3. Maintain Boundaries and Learn to Say "No"
Psychologist Scott Barry Kaufman talks about the idea of "healthy selfishness," which he defines as "having a healthy respect for your own health, growth, happiness, joy and freedom." [5]
If you're feeling very depleted, don't be afraid to put your own needs first and decline certain events that you find especially hard work. Not only will doing this protect your social battery, it will also free you up for some valuable alone time.
4. Prioritize Where You Spend Your Time
By being selective about which events you attend, you can ensure you preserve your social battery for the most valuable and meaningful moments.
5. Keep an Organized Diary or Calendar
Staying on top of your commitments can help you to keep track of what you realistically have time and energy for, while also giving you time and clarity to prepare for upcoming social events.
Understanding more about your social battery is the first step to getting to grips with how you can use your time effectively and get the most out of your social life.
It can also put you at less risk of burnout, fatigue and overwhelm. Just as you recharge your phone when its battery gets low, it's crucial to give yourself the chance to rest and recharge without judgment. Remember, rest days are just as important as the days you spend working and socializing!
Key Points
Your "social battery" is the amount of energy you have stored for socializing. While being a "social butterfly" can be fun and exciting, when your calendar gets too busy, it can start to deplete your energy, resulting in stress, overwhelm and fatigue.
The size of someone's social battery, and the type of activities that deplete and recharge it, can vary from person to person. But there are some things you can do to prevent it from depleting:
- Become aware of what drains you.
- Take time to relax.
- Maintain boundaries and learn to say "no."
- Prioritize where you spend your time.
- Keep an organized diary and calendar.
References[1] Leikas S., Ilmarinen V., (2016). ‘Happy Now, Tired Later? Extroverted and Conscientious Behavior Are Related to Immediate Mood Gains, but to Later Fatigue’,
Journal of Personality, 85.5 (2016), pp.603-615. Available
here.[2] Delmage, L. (2022).
Social Battery: How to Recharge Yours. Available
here.
[3] ibid.
[4] National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health. (2022).
Mediation and Mindfulness: What You Need to Know. Available
here.
[5] Rosseinsky, K. (2022).
What is healthy selfishness and can it help you set boundaries? Available
here.
