Women Leaders and the Perfectionism Trap

You've probably heard it before, “There's no such thing as perfect!” But for women in leadership – who are more likely to be perfectionists than their male peers – letting go of the expectation that everything must be flawless can be especially challenging. [1]

While perfectionism can drive high standards and strong performance, it often does more harm than good. Perfectionism can hold you back by leading to:

• decision fatigue as over-analyzing or spending so long refining an idea that you lose momentum.
• reluctance to delegate, hindering your team’s growth.
• fear of failure stifling innovation and risk-taking.
• confidence issues fueled by negative self-talk when things don’t go perfectly.
• low morale making it harder to celebrate progress, which damages team motivation.

There’s also growing evidence that perfectionism is linked to burnout, a challenge many women leaders face. [2]

While multiple factors contribute to burnout, perfectionism is a key driver. The good news? You don’t have to lower your high standards to thrive as a leader.

Are You a Perfectionist?

Before we dive into solutions, let us see if perfectionism is impacting your leadership. Score yourself honestly on these statements.

Why Women Leaders Struggle With Perfectionism

Perfectionism doesn’t happen in a vacuum. There are systemic and psychological factors that make it especially prevalent among women in leadership. Here are some:

1. The "Double Bind"

Women in leadership face contradictory expectations. Be assertive but not “too aggressive,” highly competent yet approachable and warm. This creates pressure to be flawless, in order to be taken seriously.

2. The Impostor Link

As many as three-quarters of high-achieving women experience Impostor Syndrome. [3] One of the five archetypes of Impostor Syndrome is “The Perfectionist,” where self-worth is tied to flawless execution.

3. The Feedback Gap

Research shows that women receive less actionable feedback than men, often vague comments such as, “Be more confident.” [4] Without clear guidance, women may overcompensate by attempting to perfect everything they do.

4. Social Expectations of Likability

Women are often expected to be more agreeable in professional settings. Perfectionism can be a coping mechanism to avoid criticism and ensure you meet unspoken standards of likability.

5. Early Gendered Expectations

From a young age, girls are often praised for being “good,” “polite” and “hardworking,” while boys are encouraged to take risks and be resilient. This can lead to a deep-seated need for perfection in women, who may have grown up believing mistakes are unacceptable and that their value is tied to achievement.

6. Underrepresentation in Leadership

Women in leadership are often in the minority, which adds a layer of scrutiny. The pressure to "prove" themselves in male-dominated spaces can drive an obsessive focus on perfection.

The Hidden Costs of Perfectionism in Leadership

Perfectionism can show up in lots of ways, each with its own set of potential consequences.

How Perfectionist Tendencies Play Out

Perfectionist Habit

How It Shows Up in Leadership

Consequences

Over-preparing

Obsessing over reports, presentations or meetings

Wasted time, delayed decisions

Fear of delegation

Micromanaging or refusing to hand off tasks

Disempowered teams, leader burnout

Fear of failure

Avoiding new challenges unless success is guaranteed

Missed promotions, stagnant growth

Setting impossible standards

Expecting flawless performance from yourself and others

Lower confidence, increased stress

Breaking Free From Perfectionism

1. Move from “Perfection” to “Excellence”

It’s possible to retain your gold standard without falling into the perfectionism trap. Reframe your mindset: perfectionism fixates on the unattainable, while excellence allows for growth, learning, and meaningful progress. Try these approaches:

• Adopt the 70 percent rule: if someone on your team can do a task at least 70 percent as well as you, delegate it.
• Ask yourself, “Will this matter in six months?” if not, channel your inner Disney queen and “Let it go.” (Sometimes a little light-heartedness is exactly what’s needed to keep perfectionism in check!)
• Celebrate progress, not just outcomes: acknowledge and appreciate each step forward. This instils in your team that progress – rather than perfection – is proof of success.

2. Use the Eisenhower Matrix to Prioritize

Not everything on your to-do list requires maximum energy. Sort tasks by urgency and importance.

Example Matrix

Urgent and Important

Urgent But Not Important

Crisis management

Client issues

Team emergencies

Emails, scheduling

Minor admin work

Last-minute reports

Not Urgent But Important

Not Urgent and Not Important

Strategic planning

Leadership development

Perfectionist overpolishing

Time-wasting tweaks

Now use the matrix to break free from perfectionism:

Avoiding Perfectionism

Handle Efficiently, Not Perfectly.

Streamline or Delegate

Urgent and important tasks like crisis management require quick action, but perfectionists often overanalyze, delaying decisions. Focus on making the best choice with available information and then move on.

Perfectionists often hold onto unnecessary, urgent but not important tasks. Letting go protects your wellbeing and helps your team grow.

Prioritize for Long-Term Impact

Avoid the Trap

Perfectionists get stuck firefighting or fixating on details, neglecting not urgent but important tasks like strategic growth. Invest time in leadership, planning, and big-picture thinking. This is where real progress happens.

If you’re endlessly tweaking an email or slide, ask, “Is this adding value or just delaying progress?” Accepting “good enough” when it comes to not urgent and not important tasks frees up time for what truly matters.

3. See Every Mistake as Data

Sallie Krawcheck, CEO and co-founder of financial platform Ellevest, emphasizes the importance of taking risks and learning from errors.

She said, “If you're not making some notable mistakes along the way, you're certainly not taking enough business and career chances.”

This perspective moves you from viewing mistakes as failures to seeing them as valuable data for personal and professional growth. So:

• Keep a failure journal. Document what didn't go as planned, what you learned, and how you'll approach similar situations differently in the future.
• Be curious about failure. Listen to the podcast, “How To Fail with Elizabeth Day.” [5] It celebrates failure in all its forms and can really challenge perfectionist thinking.
• Share failure with your team. Openly discussing your mistakes fosters a culture that normalizes healthy risk-taking and continuous improvement.

A 7-Day Perfectionism Detox

You can begin changing your behavior in as little as a week, with our Perfectionism Detox challenge:

Day 1: Delegate one task you usually control.

Day 2: Share a mistake with your team (and what you learned from it).

Day 3: Complete a project to “good enough,” without endless tweaks.

Day 4: Say yes to a high-risk, high-reward opportunity.

Day 5: Stop over-preparing for one meeting/email. Send it as it is.

Day 6: Catch and reframe one perfectionist thought.

Day 7: Reflect: what changed in your stress levels and productivity?

Leading With Confidence, Not Perfection

Perfectionism isn’t a requirement for your success as a leader; it’s an obstacle to it.

By shifting your mindset, setting realistic expectations, and prioritizing growth over flawlessness, you can lead with greater ease, and with greater impact on your team culture.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

Why are women leaders more prone to perfectionism?

Women face societal pressures, likability expectations, and the double bind of leadership (be assertive but not too aggressive) driving them to overcompensate with perfectionism.

How does perfectionism harm leadership?

It leads to burnout, micromanagement, fear of failure, and missed growth opportunities – ultimately weakening leadership impact.

What’s the difference between perfectionism and excellence?

Perfectionism demands flawlessness, while excellence focuses on growth, progress, and achieving high-quality results without unrealistic expectations.

How can women leaders break free from perfectionism?

By delegating, setting realistic standards, embracing mistakes as learning opportunities, and prioritizing impact over flawless execution.

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