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There are barriers we can all face when it comes to understanding and interpreting body language. From cultural differences to neurodivergence, there are many reasons why people may not interpret body language in the same way. When we don’t understand visual clues, we may not respond appropriately or may struggle to connect fully.
Body language tells a story that can remain unsaid. Gestures, facial expressions and other non-verbal signals provide information on people's feelings, intentions and state of mind.
We can try to enhance our understanding about what someone’s body language might be telling us. The top tips in this guide help explain basic body language signals, from head to toe. However, some people may never be able to intuitively understand mainstream ideas about non-verbal cues, and this guide might also help you identify this and better support your colleagues and direct reports.
Head and Face
Keeping your head in a straight vertical position, with your eyes towards the horizon demonstrates authority and confidence. Tilting your head to one side slightly indicates that you are in 'listening mode'; you are friendly and receptive to what is being said. Nodding also indicates that you are listening, but be careful not to overdo it - vigorous, fast nodding can indicate that you want the other person to hurry up. It's also worth bearing in mind that nodding isn't always an affirmative gesture; in Greece and Bulgaria, nodding up and down actually means 'no'. [1] Touching your face, head or hair frequently can indicate nerves and can also be distracting for the person/people you are talking to, so try to avoid doing this if you can.
Eyes
Although we may not realize it, people have a highly developed awareness of what we can interpret in others' eyes. Eyes are therefore a crucial aspect of body language. For example, we can tell when someone is shocked, surprised, friendly, disinterested, upset etc. all from their how their eyes appear (e.g. dilated pupils, wide eyes, glazed over). We can also tell when someone is focused on us through effective eye contact.
Maintaining eye contact (i.e. looking into the other person's eyes frequently) indicates that you are interested in the other person and what they have to say; however, don't go overboard, as staring can be very off-putting - glance away from time to time. If you are talking to several people at once, try to make eye contact with each of them in turn. Be aware that there can be cultural differences regarding eye contact. In some Asian, African and Latin American countries, unbroken eye contact may be seen as aggressive, while avoiding eye contact can, in fact, be a sign of respect towards bosses and elders in countries that are conscious of status and hierarchy. [2] For some people maintaining eye contact might be physically difficult though, whether that is due to a visual impairment or a neurodivergence. It’s always important to remind yourself of the context.
Mouth
Pursed or twisted lips can indicate displeasure or disagreement, or they may indicate that you are thinking. Smiling will help you to appear friendly and approachable, and will put others at ease. It is important to smile genuinely though: fake smiles can be easily spotted by the fact that while the mouth is upturned, the rest of the face remains unchanged. Keeping your hand over your mouth when you are speaking indicates nervousness and lack of confidence in what you are saying.
Arms
Arms can act as barriers when crossed or folded in front of the body, indicating disagreement or defensiveness, while the opposite is true when arms are in open positions, particularly when combined with open palms. If arms are held behind the back with hands clasped together, this can indicate confidence and authority. Individuals with dyspraxia, and some other forms of neurodivergence, experience difficulties with movement and coordination, and so their body language signals may differ. [3]
Hands
Hands are very expressive and can give off a huge range of signals. For example, they can be used for emphasis (pointing, jabbing), illustrating (drawing or shaping in the air, indicating size etc.), agreement (thumbs up) and much more.
Generally speaking, when palms are facing upwards or outwards, this indicates honesty, showing that you have nothing to hide. However, if this gesture is exaggerated and accompanied by a shrug, it could mean quite the opposite. Palm down gestures are seen as dominant and potentially aggressive. Creating a steeple effect with the fingers is a sign of superiority and confidence, and is often used to gain or regain authority.
Hands behind the head also indicates superiority and control, and can be interpreted as arrogance.
Handshakes are important too: a strong, firm handshake is a hallmark of a confident person; however, handshakes that are more gentle may be used by people from cultures where handshaking is not the norm, so it is important to be aware of this.
Hand gestures can have quite different meanings in different cultures, and are one of the most likely body language signals to cause offense. The OK sign with thumb and forefinger, for example, is commonly used in the West but is an offensive gesture in Brazil. And the thumbs up sign is a very rude gesture in some countries in the Middle East, and also in Sardinia and Greece. If in doubt, play it safe, and go easy on the hand signals. [4] [5]
Legs/feet
Just as with arms, sitting with crossed legs (at the knee or ankle), or with one leg resting on the other knee, can indicate defensiveness. However, sitting in this way may just be a question of what is most comfortable. Men and women also sit differently, and this must be considered when interpreting body language. For example, men tend to exhibit more 'open' leg positions (legs apart) while women often adopt more closed positions (e.g. legs or ankles crossed). While crossing one's legs is a common habit in many cultures, be aware that sitting cross-legged can be seen as disrespectful in Japan. [6]
It's also important to note that leg positions are usually accompanied by corresponding arm signals, such as folded arms and crossed legs, which generally signifies disinterest, disagreement etc. Foot position is another good indicator of interest: feet pointing towards the speaker when sitting or standing is a positive sign, but legs and/or feet turned to point towards the closest exit route shows that the other person is disinterested or bored and may be keen to get away from the situation as quickly as possible. In parts of the Middle East, and India, sitting so that you are showing someone the soles of your shoes or feet is also seen as disrespectful. [7]
Posture
Sitting up straight, in a relaxed manner, shows confidence. Too straight, though, and you might be perceived as being tense. Slouching can indicate boredom or lack of confidence, as if you are trying to shrink down as far as possible with the aim of becoming almost invisible.
Position
Leaning forward indicates that you are interested in what is being said and also that you are comfortable in the other person's company. However, leaning forward to much, close in to the other person, can be interpreted as desperation for approval, or even aggression.
Leaning back slightly can show that you are relaxed and confident, but lean back too much and you may be seen as arrogant, and it may also indicate disagreement. It's important, though, to look for other signals in addition to leaning forwards or backwards (such as crossed arms, pursed lips etc.), as a change of position may simply be a question of what is most comfortable.
Proximity
Appropriate personal space depends on the situation, the individuals involved, and their relationship. Standing or sitting too close can make others uncomfortable and you can be viewed as pushy or aggressive. If you are standing too close to someone, they are likely to indicate that they are not happy with this by moving away from you or leaning back. Conversely, standing or sitting too far away can be interpreted as stand-offishness. Cultural differences abound here though - for example, people from the U.K., Australia, Germany, and Japan tend to like more personal space than people from Latin America. [8] Research conducted with individuals with autism showed that they tended to be comfortable with less personal space when someone approached them compared with neurotypical responses, unless eye contact was made. [9]
Fidgeting
Any kind of fidgeting, such as rubbing your ear, scratching your chin, tapping your pen, jingling coins in your pocket or picking imaginary fluff from your clothes, shows nervousness and discomfort with the situation, or it may indicate boredom.
Mirroring
‘Mirroring’ involves using similar gestures and actions to those of the other person in the conversation. This doesn’t mean mimicking their every mannerism, but rather showing similar traits and patterns to them in order to demonstrate empathy and build rapport. You can mirror others effectively and discretely by aligning your gestures, actions and body language with theirs slowly and gradually, and reflecting their facial expressions to express agreement and understanding. Mirroring can also involve the volume and pitch of your voice. For example, if the person you are talking to is telling you something sad, matching their volume and pitch with a sympathetic, quiet tone in the first instance can be a good way of acknowledging the seriousness of the situation.
And Finally...
It doesn't matter how much you think you know about reading body language; it's important not to assume too much, especially with people you don't know very well.
Everyone has their own unique body language. For instance, someone who is sitting bolt upright, in a stiff position may give the impression that they are set in their ways and will not change their mind, regardless of what you are saying. However, it may be that they are sitting stiffly because they just have a bad back.
Culture and ethnic background play a role in body language, with significant differences in meaning between different countries and cultures. So, while it's important to be vigilant with body language, it's equally important to blend your body language observations with the words being spoken, and an understanding of person who is saying them, so that you can establish the correct meaning.
Neurodivergence can impact both how we perceive body language, and how our body language is perceived. Often, neurodivergent individuals exert extra energy in deciphering and adapting to neurotypical body language. It’s important to remain open-minded and non-judgemental. For example, when communicating with a neurodivergent colleague or team member be wary of interpreting things like a lack of hand gestures, blank facial expressions, fidgeting or a lack of eye contact as disinterest. Remember the context of the situation and person, and get to know your colleagues to understand what their body language uniquely means to them. You can learn more about how to support neurodivergent colleagues in our Neurodiversity at Work Infographic.
If you find reading body language challenging, you can always be open with your team and wider colleagues and ask for support and guidance where appropriate.
