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We all want to work for someone who's confident, supportive and respectful.
However, even the most dedicated bosses can have their weaknesses. They may lack experience, or have trouble juggling competing demands. They may seem unappreciative, overly demanding or absent when needed. Or perhaps you just don't "get along."
Yet a good relationship with your boss is key to a happy work life, your team's success, and progress in your career. So, what can you do to bridge the gap between where you are now and where you want to be?
In this article, we lead you through the steps you can take to make your relationship with your boss more productive, and to create an alliance that benefits both of you.
How to Manage Your Boss
Your boss has many working relationships to manage, and their relationship with you may not be at the top of their list. But it should be at the top of yours.
Of course, you can't really "manage" your boss as such. Whether you like it or not, they are senior to you, and you are accountable to them – even if you think that they are "out of their depth," or that they've been unfairly promoted over you.
When you accept the reality of this situation, you can take responsibility for making the relationship work to your mutual advantage. What's more, setting aside personal differences for the greater good demonstrates initiative and emotional intelligence – two of the critical qualities that organizations look for in a potential leader.
At its best, your relationship with your boss will be based on respect, trust, collaboration, and effective communication. But when things are not going so well, knowing what you can do to improve the situation and what you have the right to expect in return is useful.
Consider the following five strategies:
1. Understand Your Boss's Style
Different bosses have different Leadership Styles. And their leadership styles may vary according to the situation and the people involved.
Observe your boss's style, and then think about how you prefer to be managed. Look for the common ground and consider how to build upon it. Then, identify the areas that cause friction or dysfunction and set out to address them.
What are your boss's specific expectations of you regarding of productivity and behavior, for example? Do they like to know what you're doing at all times, or is their approach more "laissez-faire"? Do they encourage innovation or prefer to do things by the book?
Also, look carefully at your boss's communication style. Are they concerned only with facts, or do they seek opinions and ideas from others before making a decision? Do they prefer email or messaging to face-to-face chats?
As well as observing your boss, look at the qualities they appreciate in team members who've done well under their management, and work on developing them yourself.
Tip:
Workplace cultures can vary widely across different countries and organizations.
This can make communication more difficult or lead to mismatched expectations between you and your boss – particularly if you're working abroad or joining a new company, for example.
2. Demonstrate Your Value
Demonstrating your worth to your boss doesn't mean bragging or "blowing your own trumpet." It's about showing that you share a common purpose and are willing to work together – and take direction – to achieve it. This helps to build trust and rapport.
For example, your boss needs reliable information to do their job well. Always keep them "in the loop" – should an issue arise that can't be solved immediately, don't hide it. Instead, be honest and give them as much time as possible to determine how to respond. And, if appropriate, offer suggestions based on your expertise.
If you're given a particularly difficult task, think creatively to solve the problem. If you can't do it on your own, make sure that you can propose a solution when you go to your boss for help. Work out what resources you need, and be prepared to ask for them.
3. Enhance Your Boss's Reputation
When you look good, your boss looks good, too, and this benefits everyone!
Always keep your team's goals in mind, and remember that they likely align with your boss's objectives. Helping to achieve them will likely help their career, and yours.
Effective communication is crucial in managing upwards. Engage your boss by inquiring about their expectations, key goals, and preferred methods for receiving updates.
Listen attentively and confirm your understanding to ensure alignment with their specific needs, adapting your approach to suit their unique managerial style.
The flip side of this is to avoid making your boss look bad and never to behave in a way that means they have to defend you. After all, your boss is accountable to their boss, who will likely question why your manager can't control their team.
You can also help to compensate for your boss's weaknesses or oversights. If they aren't quite on top of things in a team meeting, for example, and they forget to appoint someone to take responsibility for a key action, you could ask, "Who would you like to do that?" Wording your question in this way makes it seem cooperative and supportive rather than critical.
Avoid criticizing your boss to others at work, even in private. It won't do your reputation any favors – and word will eventually get back to them, undermining their faith in you.
Tip:
There may be times when you know that your boss has made a mistake or a bad decision. In such cases, use your best judgment to decide how to bring it to their attention.
When you do so, proceed with tact and respect. You can learn more about this – and what to do if your boss's actions are in breach of company policy or even illegal – in our article, How to Tell Your Boss They're Wrong.
4. Ask For What You Want
Just as you support your boss, your boss should be a resource for you. You should be able to rely on them for advice, support and career development.
Even so, asking for help can be tricky. Many people feel that it's a sign of weakness. In fact, it's the opposite. If you're struggling at work, a good boss will appreciate the effort you make to address the problem before it affects your performance, or that of your team.
When you go to them for help, be sure that you can identify the problem clearly. Describe what you've done so far to tackle it, and be specific about the help you need.
Similarly, when you ask your boss for training, coaching or other forms of career development, be clear about what you want. Present a valid case for how it will benefit you as an individual, and the team.
Being assertive and proactive will more likely win your boss's respect and be successful than if you wait and hope.
You should also let your manager know how you prefer to be managed. You can make this part of your regular one-on-ones.
Let them know about your preferred communication style, how much autonomy you like to have, and in which aspects of your role you need more direction. An effective boss will take notice; after all, it will also make their job easier.
5. Deal With Difficult Behavior
There's a broad range of behavior that can make your relationship with your boss difficult.
Some bosses are not cut out for the role. For example, they may have been promoted because of their technical knowledge but lack "soft skills" such as team building and negotiation.
If your boss is unresponsive or "invisible," they could lack confidence in managing a team. The best way to enhance your relationship in these situations is to empathize with your boss when they are under pressure and actively offer your support.
But some bad behavior is tougher to crack. You may need to call out an overly demanding or micromanaging boss and explain how their behavior is damaging the team. The same goes for over-eager, driven managers who won't take no for an answer when your workload has reached full capacity.
In circumstances like these, avoid confrontation. Instead, have a frank and balanced conversation with them in a neutral situation. Prepare carefully, stick to the one issue, and don't make it personal!
Your boss may be shocked to hear of the impact their behavior is having. If so, offer solutions. For example, you could suggest that a micromanaging boss delegates specific pieces of work to you, and offer to give them regular status updates.
Warning:
If bad behavior crosses the line into bullying or other unacceptable behavior, it's important to protect yourself.
Keep a written record of all communications with your boss, and be ready to take the problem to your HR department. Most organizations have a formal grievance process, so make sure you are familiar with it. You may be asked for supporting evidence.
Key Points
Your relationship with your boss should be happy, productive and mutually beneficial.
You accept your boss's authority, but you both recognize your responsibilities to one another, and understand that you share a common purpose.
To reach this understanding, you can use the following five strategies:
- Understand your boss's style.
- Demonstrate your value.
- Enhance your boss's reputation.
- Ask for what you want.
- Deal with difficult behavior.
