Overworked and Overwhelmed: The Mindfulness Alternative

These constant demands are wearing us down in pretty significant ways. One side-effect is that we're so busy getting stuff done that we don't take time to step back to see what really needs to get done. Our attention is often scattered and unfocused. We try to multitask to get more done, but end up doing all those tasks poorly.

As a result, many of us are unhappy, unfulfilled, and stressed out.

It all sounds pretty bleak when you look at it this way. So what's the answer? Working harder or faster is probably not going to help. But we could be more mindful about what we're doing.

Mindfulness is becoming a bit of a buzzword in today's business world. Borrowed from Buddhist practice, the concept is based on focusing attention in the present moment, to provide a meaningful perspective to worries about the past or future.

This book says mindfulness can help us be clear about the results that really deserve our attention. It can help us decide what we need to do to perform at our best, both professionally and personally.

If this sounds a little too Zen, think about it this way. The opposite of mindfulness is mindlessness. And unfortunately, that's how many of us are living. We're trying to move so fast, and do so much, that we don't slow down enough to see where we're going. And that's a fast-track to a stressed out, unfulfilling life.

In "Overworked and Overwhelmed," you learn how to step away from busyness and cultivate greater awareness about what you're doing and, more importantly, why you're doing it. This book helps you learn how to simplify your life, develop physical and mental routines to make you more mindful, and figure out where you want to go and how to get there.

Scott Eblin is the author of the book "The Next Level," and is a former Fortune 500 executive. His leadership development clients include some of the world's biggest organizations. He is a certified leadership coach through Georgetown University, and is a member of the faculty for that program.

Although the author's credentials are impressive, what's more inspiring is what led him down this path of mindfulness. He was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in 2009, and almost died of liver failure. But thanks to yoga, and the mindfulness he developed from that practice, he was able to transform his life. In fact, he credits yoga and mindfulness for saving his life. It's why he wrote the book, and he believes that developing mindfulness could save your life as well.

So, keep listening to find out what's stopping you from being mindful, three questions that will help you create a mindful life, and why you should strive for rhythm, and not balance, in life.

"Overworked and Overwhelmed" is divided into four parts, with 14 chapters.

Part one looks at why we feel overworked and overwhelmed. It also provides more detail about what mindfulness is.

In part two, the author goes over his Life GPS tool, which is the foundation for the rest of the book. This tool asks three important questions that will help you create a more mindful life. He devotes part two, three, and four to answering these three questions in depth.

Let's start by taking a look at what mindfulness actually is.

According to the author, mindfulness is the combination of awareness and intention. It means being awake and present in what you're thinking, feeling, and experiencing in every moment.

The author includes a quote in part one that really stands out to us. Victor Frankl, author of "Man's Search for Meaning" and a former prisoner of Auschwitz, said this: "Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom."

We think this is an eloquent and graceful definition of what it means to be mindful, and we appreciate that the author includes it.

So, what would being more mindful do for you on a daily basis?

Well, if you have more awareness you'll make better decisions. You won't react blindly to events. Instead, you'll be more insightful, and you'll be able to choose your response, and your emotions, in any given situation.

Of course, there are a lot of things that stop us from being mindful. One of these is our mental chatter – the unimportant, chattery thoughts that take up most of our head space throughout the day.

Distractions also stop us from being mindful. For instance, think about how much time you spend on your smartphone every day. How does this distract you from what's going on around you – and from your own thoughts and feelings?

Perhaps the most profound barrier to mindfulness is something the author calls "story awareness." This basically means the story you tell yourself about why you're doing what you're doing.

Here's a good example of this.

One of the author's clients, Mike, went on vacation with his family to the Bahamas. During the vacation, he was on the phone with work all the time. Someone asked his wife why he was on the phone so much, and she said, "He's on the phone this year so we can come back here next year."

This was the story that Mike had told himself, and his family, over and over again. But the truth is, he wasn't engaging with his family or spending any time relaxing. He was constantly distracted by the demands of his job.

We think this example could help a lot of readers gain some insight into their actions. After all, we all tell stories to ourselves about why we have to do something. But what is the truth?

In part two, the author introduces his Life GPS tool. This is based on three questions that can help transform your life.

The first is, "How are you when you're at your best?"

The next is, "What are the routines that would enable you to show up at your best?"

The last question in the Life GPS tool is "What difference would showing up at your best make in your three big arenas of life?"

Let's look at the first question, "How are you when you're at your best?" This question forces you to cultivate self-awareness, and understand your true nature.

The author has a five-step process to help you answer this important question.

First, find a quiet place where you won't be distracted for at least half an hour. Close your eyes, and take three deep breaths.

Next, think about the past six to 12 months in your life. When did you feel completely absorbed with what you were doing? When were you "in the zone"? On a piece of paper, write a short headline that summarizes each of these experiences.

These experiences don't have to be work related. You might have been in the zone playing with your kids, or volunteering at your favorite charity.

Now, remember what you felt like in each of these situations. Write your emotions on the right hand side of the page, next to each experience.

Once you've completed your headlines and emotions, take three more deep breaths.

Now, look for patterns. Are there any words or emotions that apply to several of these experiences? You might need to add some words, but try to find a common denominator in some of these experiences.

Once you're done with this, you should have a short list of characteristics that describe you when you show up at your best. Think of this as the true north of your Life GPS.

It can be challenging to come up with your best characteristics at first. The author includes a table that details the best characteristics of some of his past clients, which is a helpful prompt for what we should be looking for here.

For instance, one past client felt she was at her best when she was confident, clear, intentional, honest, genuine, and calming to others. Another client was at his best when he was grateful, listening, asking questions, connected, and slower.

The author offers some great tips in chapter six that can help you manage your time more effectively, and create rhythms in your day so you're more mindful.

We also really like chapter seven. Here, the author shows you how to set up routines that will help you show up at your best, and eliminate the routines that don't do anything good for you.

One surprising bit of advice is to strive for rhythm, not work-life balance.

The author says people with demanding jobs can find it extremely difficult to find work-life balance. This is because, in a hectic, fast-paced world, balance can be fleeting. Instead, you should try to find a rhythm.

When you focus on rhythm you acknowledge that at times, your pace is going to swing more towards work, or home, or community than at other times. Acknowledging this takes pressure off yourself. So, on some days you might be able to devote an hour to exercise, while on other days you might only get 15 minutes.

At first, this might sound like a recipe for disaster. After all, if you don't try to commit to an hour of exercise every day, what's to stop you from just quitting entirely when you get a little busy?

The goal here is rhythm. So, you need to take a longer-term view than just what's going to happen over a day, or several days, when you get busy.

The other tips in this chapter will help you develop the routines that create a rhythm for your life.

One way to do this is to use the cue-routine-reward cycle. Here's an example of what this looks like.

Patricia wanted to be more present with her family once she got off work. This meant she needed to disconnect herself from her phone the moment she got home.

So, she started a new routine. As she walked from her garage into the house through the laundry room, she plugged her phone in. The cord was always left in sight, by the washing machine, so she couldn't miss it when she walked through the door.

Once the phone was plugged in she shut the door, and didn't go back in the room until after her kids went to bed.

At first, it was hard for her to leave her phone in the room. But the payoff with her family was enormous, and it quickly became a habit.

So, Patricia's cue was the phone charging cord left hanging in the laundry room so she could see it. Her routine was to walk through the laundry room directly after work. And her reward was several hours fully present with her family.

All three of these elements need to be in place if you're going to create routines that support your best self.

The author covers a lot of ground in the rest of part three. For instance, he talks about the importance of exercise, and how to develop physical routines to make you more mindful.

You'll also learn why it's so important to practice mindful breathing. This chapter was interesting because there's so much science that proves how beneficial deep breathing is. If you're skeptical, the author sources all his research in the back of the book.

The last section of the book encourages you to think deeply about your intentions. You need to consider the outcomes you want, but it's also important not to be too attached to those outcomes. Give yourself the freedom to change your mind about the kind of future you want.

So, what's our last word on "Overworked and Overwhelmed"?

We really like this book. It's accessible and practical, and covers issues that many people are dealing with in their personal and professional lives.

Many of us zip through our days without sparing much thought to what we're doing and why. This book offers some really usable tips and exercises that will help you slow down and become more aware of your thoughts, feelings, and actions.

By developing mindfulness, you'll be able prioritize what's most important to you. You'll be able to create a rhythm that helps set the tone and pace of your life. This can lead to less stress, deeper relationships, and greater happiness.

What we like most are the countless stories interwoven throughout the text. Most of them are very short but powerful. They're moving and inspiring, and many of them help illustrate the lessons the author teaches along the way.

If you find yourself feeling overworked and overwhelmed in your own life, then we think you'll get a lot of value out of this book.

"Overworked and Overwhelmed" by Scott Eblin, is published by Wiley.

That's the end of this episode of Book Insights. Thanks for listening.