Leaders Eat Last: Why Some Teams Pull Together and Others Don't

Organizations that have accomplished this positive culture don't do one big thing to make it happen. They do a lot of little things – some which are wildly successful, while others are less so. Leaders of these organizations realize that their role is to protect every person working there: to treat them like family, and to be treated like family in return. And that realization drives every decision they make.

This probably sounds like a huge commitment. And it is. It's the price of being a true leader. But if you're ready to take on this responsibility, and reap the rewards that go along with having a happy, committed team, then this book is for you.

One thing that really sets this book apart is that it explains the biology of trust and team cooperation. And when we say "biology," we really mean it. The author explores what chemical changes happen in our brains when we experience trust, and how we respond. This provides some fascinating reading.

Simon Sinek is the best-selling author of "Start With Why," and he's consulted with large and small companies, including the U.S. government and military. His TED talk "Start With Why" is the second most popular video at TED.com.

So, keep listening to hear why physical contact can help you build trust with your team, why breaking the rules is important, and why rewarding your team for "hitting the numbers" might not be a good long-term strategy.

"Leaders Eat Last" is divided into eight parts, with 27 chapters.

Part one, with four chapters, has several compelling examples that show what's possible when teams truly care about the organization they work for.

Here, the author introduces a key concept in the book called the circle of safety. Because the world around us is filled with danger, you need to create a sense of safety for the people that work for you.

Tens of thousands of years ago, our ancestors understood instinctively that they were stronger and safer together than they were apart. Today, our brains still recognize this, even though our society has moved on to an individualist mentality.

And we do still face danger in our society. We might not be foraging for food or trying to outsmart a saber-toothed tiger, but we have to contend with hostile takeovers, aggressive competitors, and technology that can threaten our business model.

We also face internal dangers. Intimidation, humiliation, isolation, and aggression can threaten our sense of security at work.

This is why it's so important to create a circle of safety in your organization. This helps reduce the internal threats that people feel, and leaves everyone free to focus their time and energy on protecting the organization from outside threats.

When we find ourselves inside a circle of safety, stress declines, fulfillment rises, our desire to serve others increases, and our willingness to trust skyrockets.

Without this circle of safety, the author says, we spend way too much time trying to protect ourselves from each other. Stress, paranoia, and mistrust all increase.

The author stresses here that many weak leaders only extend their circle of safety to other top leaders or decision-makers. If you want to see the benefits, your circle of safety has to protect every single person in your organization.

With this idea laid out, the author spends the bulk of the rest of the book showing you how to create this circle of safety.

Part two looks at the ancestral and chemical aspects of trust. We find out what goes on in our brains when we're part of a tribe we trust.

One of the chemicals he describes is dopamine. Think of dopamine as the "progress chemical." When we find something we're looking for, or finish something that needs to get done, we experience a rush of good feelings, and that's caused by dopamine. When you finally hit a goal you've worked really hard to achieve, that feeling of joy is largely caused by dopamine. We can quickly start to crave the rush we feel from this chemical response.

So, what does dopamine have to do with building a culture of trust in your organization?

The author says that whether they realize it or not, many organizations are set up to stimulate the dopamine response. When you hit a goal or make the numbers, you get that dopamine rush which you then crave more and more.

Now, this sounds all well and good on the surface. And, the author isn't saying that setting goals or encouraging your team to hit the numbers is necessarily a bad thing. But dopamine-driven metrics can destroy trust if they're not handled carefully, and we'll talk more about that in just a few minutes.

Dopamine is not the only chemical at work in the brain, and once you understand how these chemicals affect your thoughts and emotions, you can use them to build trust within your organization.

For instance, we experience a rush of the chemical oxytocin when we help someone else, or even when we witness an act of generosity. It just feels good, and it gives lasting feelings of calm and safety. Unlike dopamine, which is more about instant gratification, oxytocin provides a deep sense of wellbeing.

It also makes us want to help others feel the same way.

There are lots of ways to experience a rush of oxytocin. One is with physical touch. The author says you can use this to build goodwill during negotiations. For instance, once you've ironed out all the details of a contract with someone, shake hands with the other person before you sign.

This simple gesture shows you're willing to trust this other person, and it can leave both of you feeling better about the negotiation.

Keep this in mind when you're interacting with your team. Give them a high-five, a pat on the back, or an enthusiastic handshake when they've done a great job. Be sensitive, though, to the cultural norms of the workplace. In some places, any kind of physical contact in the workplace might be inappropriate.

Chapter nine is about knowing when to break the rules.

The author says that the most successful organizations spend a great deal of time training their people. Giving teams knowledge and power to do their jobs not only helps them excel, it also gives them the confidence and expertise to know when to break the rules, so they can take advantage of an opportunity, or avoid a disaster.

Your responsibility as a leader is to teach your people the rules, train them so they're confident and competent, and then step back and trust those people to know what they're doing. And this might involve breaking the rules from time to time.

Part six looks at five key leadership lessons that help you put the book's insights into practice. Lesson one is "so goes the culture, so goes the company."

The author starts this lesson with a grim, real-life story of the investment firm Goldman Sachs.

Up until the 1990s, Goldman Sachs was known for its integrity, high standards, and good business decisions. It was willing to take short-term hits if it meant long-term success for its clients.

Promising young recruits couldn't count on getting a job here. Goldman only let in recruits that fit its culture. Candidates who demonstrated honesty and integrity, and were willing to put the firm's needs above their own were hired. Those who looked out for themselves first weren't.

But in the late '90s, something went wrong. The partnership culture that made Goldman Sachs so special started to break down. Goldman began hiring traders that were aggressive. The company put more importance on academic pedigrees and past success than character and culture fit.

These new traders craved the dopamine rush. They wanted to succeed for themselves, to profit for themselves.

You may know what happened to Goldman. It was accused of improper practices and eventually, the firm's reputation was tarnished beyond repair.

The story is a powerful reminder of why having the right kind of corporate culture is so important.

The author says that when cultural standards shift away from character, values, and beliefs to dopamine-driven measurements like performance and numbers, our behavior changes and our willingness to trust evaporates. The culture gets watered down, and we get more interested in serving ourselves than we do in serving others.
Stop and think about your own organization's culture. What kind of environment do you want to build? How do you want your team to feel when they come to work each day? What kind of culture do you want to create?

This chapter is full of inspiring and sobering real-life stories of organizations that got their culture right, and others that got theirs dead wrong. We loved that the author included so many examples, because it really brings the message home: culture is everything.

Like most of the book, the author leaves it up to you to figure out how to best apply these insights in your own organization. If you pay attention to what you're reading, and take time to really think about the wisdom the author is sharing, this isn't an impossible task.

For instance, the author tells the story of Captain Marquet, a talented and intelligent submarine commander in the U.S. Navy. Captain Marquet was awarded his own submarine, one of the highest honors and biggest responsibilities in the Navy.

Before he took command, the captain spent a year studying the submarine, and its crew. Then, two weeks before he was to take over, the Navy changed its plans. They gave him an entirely different type of sub, with an entirely different crew.

Captain Marquet didn't want his crew to find out that he knew very little about the submarine he was now in charge of. He was too afraid to ask questions of his crew to try to learn, because he thought he would lose their respect. Instead, he barked orders and maintained tight control.

It didn't take long for him to realize that this was a potentially dangerous way to run a submarine. And of course, he ended up issuing an order that highlighted his own ignorance.

The captain realized suddenly that he couldn't be the only one in control any more. If the crew kept blindly following his orders, even if those orders were wrong, something catastrophic would happen.

So, he changed the entire culture of the submarine to promote sharing, learning, and responsibility. And he included himself in this by relinquishing control.

Here's one example. On a submarine, crew members have to request permission to take action by saying, for example, "Sir, request permission to submerge the ship."

Captain Marquet changed this culture of permission to a culture of intent. He gave everyone the power to take action by saying instead, "Sir, I intend to submerge the ship."

It may seem like a small thing, but it isn't. With this tiny change in semantics, the captain was communicating that he trusted his crew. He was still in charge. But the person performing the action could now take personal responsibility for it.

The author says that when our leaders are willing to reveal the gaps in their knowledge or missteps, we're more willing to help them. And, we're more willing to reveal our own knowledge gaps or mistakes so that others can help us as well. By changing the culture to promote knowledge sharing, a leader can transform the potential of everyone on the team.

Stop and think about the lesson here. How could revealing your own knowledge gaps or past mistakes help build trust in your own team? What would it take for you to start doing this?

This is the kind of in-depth analysis you'll need to do throughout the book if you want to realize its true value. But we think it's more than worth the effort.
So, what's our last word on "Leaders Eat Last"?

We really enjoyed this book. It's fascinating, inspiring, and full of important insights that are highly relevant to any type of business or organization that wants to build a culture of trust.

We should point out that this book is fairly long, and we've only covered a small fraction of what's in it here. Points and lessons aren't highlighted with boxes or bullet points, but are woven into the narrative. So this isn't a book that's easy to skim, and you'll want to read with a highlighter in hand.

Although some end-of-chapter key points would have been nice, the text is easy and enjoyable to read. The author does a good job of keeping your attention throughout the book, thanks in large part to the compelling and well-written case studies.

All in all, we have no trouble recommending this book.

"Leaders Eat Last" by Simon Sinek is published by Penguin Books.

That's the end of this episode of Book Insights. Thanks for listening.