How Good Are Your People Skills?

In almost all jobs, your people skills – sometimes also known as "soft skills" – have as much of an impact on your success as your technical skills.

That's especially true when you're in a management or leadership role.

The importance of having solid people skills transcends industry and profession; so, whether you lead people, aspire to lead people, or work within a team of professionals, you need to apply people skills to achieve your objectives.

So, how good are your people skills? Take this short quiz to assess your current skill levels.

Once you've answered these questions, we can then point you toward specific tools and resources that you can use to develop and improve this important area of competency.

Test Your People Skills

Take the self-assessment below, and click the "Calculate my total" button at the end to assess your people skills.

Instructions

For each statement, click the button in the column that best describes you. Please answer questions as you actually are (rather than how you think you should be), and don't worry if some questions seem to score in the "wrong direction." When you are finished, click the "Calculate My Total" button at the bottom of the test.

The quiz assesses your skills according to the four main themes below. Review your scores for each theme, and read more where you need to.

Interpersonal Communication Skills

(Questions 6, 9, 13, 15)

Many people spend more time working with other people than they do with processes or products. This means that they need to communicate well with others, and this makes communication skills some of the most important skills in the workplace.

Some of the key communication stumbling blocks to be aware of include:

Message barriers: These occur when the person communicating fails to communicate clearly.

If you find that you often confuse people, then a good starting point for fixing this is to figure out what you want to say. Do you want to persuade? Are you trying to motivate? Are you simply informing? Or are you attempting to build a relationship? The purpose of your communication will largely determine what you say and how you say it, and our article on Communications Planning shows you how to prepare for a variety of communication exchanges.

Receiving barriers: These barriers occur on the receiver's end of the communication, and they typically result from ineffective listening. We hear and understand faster than we speak, and this can lead to boredom and a wandering mind when on the listening end of communication.

To combat this you should try to listen actively to what the speaker is saying. When you engage active listening you respond in a way that makes it clear that you understand the feelings and intent of the speaker. In our article Active Listening, you'll find some useful guidelines to follow when you are on the receiving end of communication.

Decoding barriers: Here the real message is not fully grasped or translated because of misperceptions, misinterpretations or missing information.

The most common problem here is with mismatched non-verbal communication. A lot of non-verbal communication is unconscious – meaning that the sender isn't aware of the messages he or she is sending, yet these messages can reveal a great deal of someone's true thoughts.

If you can learn to understand people's non-verbal communication, you can improve your people skills significantly. Our article on Body Language will show you how to understand other people's non-verbal communication – and manage your own.

Managing Differences

(Questions 3, 5, 8, 11)

People can seem to disagree about almost anything – what caused a problem, how to solve it, what values are right, what values are wrong, what goals should be pursued; the list goes on! On top of this, you have the personal, non-job-related differences between people that lead to obvious differences in outlook and approach.

Because of this, respecting and managing the differences between people can be one of the most important skills you can develop! Indeed, it can be a huge advantage if you learn to celebrate and enjoy differences, and make them work to your advantage.

Key to this is recognizing that, in many cases, conflict is not "bad". In fact, conflict often causes significant, positive change. It spawns creative and novel approaches to problem solving, and can actually improve organizational performance, if managed properly. In our article, Resolving Team Conflict, we discuss how you can build stronger teams by facing and embracing personal differences. And in our Conflict Resolution article, we outline how to use the Interest-Based Relational (IBR) approach for solving interpersonal issues. Both of these articles outline how you can emerge from conflict with strong and healthy relationships.

When resolving conflict, it helps a lot if you can understand other people's needs and points of view. This can often help you find solutions that may otherwise not have occurred to you. And when you take the time to understand another person's perspective, you are demonstrating your willingness to work together to find a solution. Our articles on Empathy at Work and Perceptual Positions can help you develop this aspect of people skills. These help you to adopt different vantage points when resolving differences.

Finally, you need to be appropriately assertive if you're going to manage differences effectively. Aggression is clearly counter-productive if you're trying to resolve conflict, but also, if you fail to recognize your own needs in a situation, you run the risk of agreeing to a solution that works against your own interests.

Again, it's important to remember that differences aren't necessarily negative, so suppressing your thoughts and ideas just to come to an easy agreement isn't effective or efficient. You can discover tips on how to be assertive in our resources, Assertiveness and Yes to the Person, No to the Task.

Managing Agreement

(Questions 2, 10, 12, 14)

While managing differences may be an obvious application of people skills, managing agreement may not seem to be. However, helping people come to an agreement with one another is important, and requires a great deal of skill!

"Synergy" is one of the most important things that you're looking for with teamwork. This is where the team's output is better or greater than the sum of each individual's input. To achieve synergy, you need to encourage people to work together collaboratively.

If you've ever participated in a team decision-making process, you probably realize that reaching a decision by yourself can be much more straightforward. The problem with individual decision-making, though, is that you miss out on all of the insights that other people can give. With strong people skills, you don't need to back away from collaborative situations: you can approach team meetings with a genuinely positive attitude!

Part of this involves feeling comfortable with different kinds of questions, and with when to use them, and how. In our article on Questioning Techniques, we look at open and closed questions, as well as other common types of question that you can use to keep conversation flowing and get the specific information you need.

As well as this, it's useful to have a good selection of problem solving tools in your arsenal. When you are confident in your ability to find solutions, you'll be more likely to participate in these conversations and add value to your team. In our article Opening Closed Minds, we show you how to get your point across effectively, so that you can reach the agreement you are seeking. These types of tools will give you the confidence you need to confront differences, knowing that you can also manage the agreement side of the equation.

Another aspect of managing agreement relates to feedback. When given poorly, people reject feedback, it's viewed as destructive criticism, and it can damage relationships. Delivered well, however, feedback can lead to an improved understanding of one another's needs and perspectives, as well as improving performance and productivity. We look at this in detail in our articles, Giving Feedback and Getting Feedback. Also, in our article looking at the Johari Window we outline a great technique for increasing interpersonal understanding through self-disclosure.

The bottom line is that, to develop strong people skills, you need to be able to accept what others are saying and learn from this. Not only will this help you personally, it will help you relate openly and honestly with others.

Personal Integrity

(Questions 1, 4, 7, 16)

Integrity is the cornerstone of people skills. Integrity means basic honesty and truthfulness when dealing with others. It also means working with people openly, and in such a way that people's interests aren't compromised for the sake of the team or the organization.

Basic courtesies like saying “thank you" often, and giving credit where it is due, are the types of people-oriented behaviors that can make all of the difference to other people. Whether you are in a leadership position or not, recognizing your teammates' contributions and acknowledging their efforts will go a long way toward creating a positive, harmonious, and productive team climate. Our articles on Rewarding Your Team, Leading by Example, and Ethical Leadership are all great resources that can help you to learn how to behave with integrity on a daily basis.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. What are "people skills," and why are they important?

Answer: People skills, also known as interpersonal skills or soft skills, refer to the ability to interact effectively and harmoniously with others. These skills include communication, empathy, conflict resolution, teamwork, and active listening. People skills are crucial in both personal and professional settings as they facilitate better relationships, enhance teamwork, improve customer service, and lead to more effective collaboration. Strong people skills can lead to greater job satisfaction, career advancement, and a more positive work environment.

2. How can I improve my people skills?

Answer: Improving people skills involves a combination of self-awareness, practice, and seeking feedback. Here are some practical steps:

• Active Listening. Focus on truly hearing what others are saying without interrupting. Show that you're engaged by nodding and giving appropriate responses.
• Empathy. Try to understand others' perspectives and feelings. Put yourself in their shoes to better connect and respond to their needs.
• Communication. Practice clear and concise communication. Tailor your message to your audience and be mindful of your body language and tone.
• Conflict Resolution. Learn to address conflicts calmly and constructively. Focus on finding solutions rather than placing blame.
• Feedback. Seek and be open to feedback on your interpersonal interactions. Use it as a tool for growth and improvement.

3. Can people skills be taught, or are they innate?

Answer: While some people may naturally have stronger people skills due to their personality traits, these skills can certainly be taught and developed over time. Learning about the key elements of emotional intelligence, strengthening communication techniques, and making active listening a habit can all provide a firm foundation for improvement. Then application and practice are key to improving and embedding people skills.