The Reality-Based Rules of the Workplace

But if we take the second approach, we'll show up to work feeling enthusiastic and motivated. Our peers and superiors will value us, and we'll feel productive, happy, and in control. In short, we'll go from loathing our jobs to loving them – and we'll be much more likely to keep them.

Now, if you're sitting in the disillusioned camp, you may be wondering how on earth to get out of it. Well, that's where this book comes in. It has all the tips and tools you'll need to move from a place of apathy to one of excitement, high performance and creativity.

"The Reality-Based Rules of the Workplace" argues that the key to satisfaction and success at work is understanding how our managers evaluate us. And we're not talking about performance reviews here. The author has her own tried and tested formula to measure your value within an organization. With this and other tools, she sets out to show readers where they're going wrong at work – and put them firmly back on the right track.

"The Reality-Based Rules of the Workplace" is for anyone who's feeling bored, stuck, unappreciated, or unhappy in their careers, either mildly or in the extreme. If you find yourself kicking back, slacking off, cruising along, or frequently complaining about pay and conditions, then this book is for you.

It's especially targeted at employees who are familiar with performance reviews and management hierarchies. People who run businesses or work for themselves may find some of its concepts don't apply to them. But many of the author's ideas around motivation and personal accountability are just as relevant to the self-employed as the employed.

This is the author's second book on this topic. Her first, "Reality-Based Leadership," was aimed at leaders and managers, while this book is for the broader workforce. The author is also a business consultant, a sought-after speaker, and trainer, and her writing is based on research with more than 50,000 people.

So keep listening to learn how to calculate your value to your organization, why accountability brings happiness, and how to cut drama out of your professional and personal life.

"The Reality-Based Rules of the Workplace" is a practical, straightforward book and the author doesn't pull any punches. Your happiness at work is wholly dependent on your personal accountability and your attitude, irrespective of your circumstances, she says. If you're holding on to excuses or clinging to complaints about your boss, colleagues, or conditions, be prepared for a rude awakening. You are in charge of your satisfaction – it's all about how you approach your reality. It's time to change your mindset and take control of your life.

Some readers – those with especially trying bosses, huge workloads, or who are struggling to feed their families on reduced pay – may find this approach a little harsh. Others will find it simplistic. But we liked the author's core message and her straight-talking style. She also makes her readers work. Be prepared to answer lots of questions and take a few tests.

So let's look at the author's formula for measuring your current value: what she calls the new value equation, which takes up part one of the book.

This starts with throwing the traditional performance review out of the window. Performance appraisals have become meaningless, the author says. They neither give a good picture of an individual's value, nor are they an accurate predictor of a company's performance.

Instead, the author suggests a new equation: current performance, combined with future potential, minus emotional expensiveness. If this sounds like jargon, don't worry. The author does a great job of explaining each concept and helping readers find out where they stand.

For example, you can rate your current performance by asking yourself whether you're consistent in your attendance, your work, and your results, whether you improve each year, whether you move forward with purpose, and whether you set goals for yourself over and above those set by your supervisor.

Similarly, you can measure your future potential by asking yourself if you're motivated to change, develop, and improve, beyond any targets set by your manager, if you mentor others, and if you're an early adopter of new technology. By answering these questions and others, readers can rate their performance and potential on a scale from one to five. And once you've got your rating, the author tells you how to raise it – how to boost your performance and maximize your potential.

Let's take a closer look at emotional expensiveness, the third part of the equation and an interesting concept. To understand this, think of someone who's high maintenance in a relationship, and then transfer this idea to the workplace.

We all come with a cost to our employers. We give, but we also take, and some of us take more than we give. Those high-maintenance employees often bring drama, baggage, and tantrums. They show up to work with a victim mindset, complain, and make demands. And some are more focused on themselves than on the greater good or the company's performance. The author offers a set of questions to help us rate our emotional expensiveness – and be warned, some of these make for uncomfortable reading.

To get an idea of just how costly this kind of behavior can be, the author suggests you multiply your emotional expensiveness rating by three before subtracting it from your combined performance and potential ratings. Don't worry – it's OK if you end up with a negative result!

We found this "numbers" approach a little simplistic, somewhat formulaic, and not very rigorous, and some readers will resist doing the math. But we think it's pretty helpful to get a picture of what you're contributing at work, even if it's based on self-evaluation. And, if you just answer the questions in your head, without completing the equation, you'll still get a good reality check – although we imagine the author wouldn't approve of cutting corners.

So, at the end of part one, you'll have an idea of your performance, your potential, and your emotional burden. The next step is to reduce your emotional cost and boost your value. This is part two.

The author introduces her five reality-based rules of the workplace and her no-holds-barred approach is clear from their names, for example: You Will Always Have Extenuating Circumstances. SUCCEED ANYWAY, and Buy-In Is Not Optional. YOUR ACTION, NOT OPINION, ADDS VALUE.

The most important rule, and the one that underpins the book, is the first one: Your Level of Accountability Determines Your Level of Happiness, so DON'T HOPE TO BE LUCKY. CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY.

This rule says it's time to stop blaming and complaining, and focus on what we can do within our current reality to feel better about ourselves and our work. If we do this, we'll improve our productivity, boost our value, increase our job security, and even secure a promotion.

To back up her argument, she introduces us to one of her clients – a salesperson called Phil who was on the verge of losing his job. Phil said his sales were down because his customers' budgets had been cut and his company refused to develop cheaper products. He complained his managers set him impossible targets given the economic climate and they didn't give him his goals until half the sales period had passed. He'd been a top salesperson for years, but now he was spending a lot of his time trying to convince his boss he wasn't to blame for his figures.

The author doesn't dismiss Phil's challenges. The economy he was operating in was tough, customers had less money, and competition was fierce. But Phil's attitude lacked personal accountability. He wanted his circumstances to be different, rather than looking to see what he could do to change things. He needed to shift his focus from why he couldn't sell more to how he could, whatever it took.

Phil realized that to sell high-priced goods to customers with less money, he'd have to change his sales techniques, something he hadn't done in more than a decade. He saw that he could focus on value, not price, and talk about solutions, not products. He could convince his customers they didn't have the cash to waste on inferior goods that would need replacing, and that quality was the best option in the climate they were living in.

He also realized he couldn't do anything about his sales goals arriving late in the season. But he could hit the ground running, sell all out from the get-go and create a reserve of sales, so he wouldn't be caught short when his boss issued his targets. Finally, Phil realized other salespeople were doing well in the same market conditions, winning contracts he was losing. If they could do it, why couldn't he?

Phil had to change his mindset, stop reacting, and start acting, and in doing so he became more engaged in his work, more successful, happier, and of greater value to his company.

Personal accountability comes easier to some than others, but as we can see from Phil's story, it can be learned, and sometimes it's as simple as getting ourselves out of a rut and taking small steps in the right direction.

Here, as elsewhere in the book, the author's ideas aren't groundbreaking, but she's spent years putting her theories into practice with leaders and employees and we think her advice is sound.

Let's now look at the author's second rule: Suffering is Optional, so DITCH THE DRAMA! The author says that the average person spends two hours each day in drama – warring with reality, concocting stories in their heads, turning facts into fiction. She bases this on one study with doctors who were struggling with new technology, plus her general observations as a consultant. It may or may not be accurate, but there's no doubt the workplace is ripe for drama, especially when times are tough. But engaging in drama is a choice and this chapter includes many catchy phrases to remind us, such as The Monster Under The Bed Is in Your Head, The Facts Will Set You Free, and Would You Rather Be Right, or Happy?

We especially liked the author's advice on how to become a reality-based thinker. Far too often, we let our imaginations run away with us. Suddenly, a minor problem becomes a major disaster and we waste hours of time and bags of energy fearing the worst – only to find the worst rarely comes to pass.

To break this harmful cycle, the author offers five questions we can ask ourselves when we start to feel anxious, or sense our imagination is about to take flight: what story am I telling myself right now? What do I know for sure (just the facts)? How do I act when I believe my story? Without my story, what would I be doing to help? What is the very next thing I can do to add value right now?

The stories we make up about a situation may reflect an inner voice of doubt, insecurity, or dissatisfaction. This voice inhibits us or, in its most extreme form, paralyzes us.
But when we get rid of the story and see the facts for what they are, all that remains is the last question – what can I do right now to add value? This yanks us out of our pointless reverie and propels us into action.

We can see how this approach gets results in the workplace, and it's just as applicable in our day-to-day lives and relationships.

The name of the author's fifth and final rule – You Will Always Have Extenuating Circumstances. SUCCEED ANYWAY – is a good example of her gung-ho, no-nonsense style. Here, she acknowledges that sometimes it's right to leave a job. Sure, you should take personal responsibility for how you feel at work, but sometimes you'll want to walk away. What you mustn't do is "stay and hate" or "go and blame."

Her advice is this: make the most of your current situation, learn your lessons, change your attitude, and stick things out, until you get to the stage where you'd be happy to stay, but you'd rather go. Don't make the mistake of thinking the problem is your environment – the problem, most likely, is you.

The ideas in this book aren't rocket science, but they're all well organized and delivered with punch. We agree with pretty much all of the author's suggestions, although her advice on avoiding confrontation and fully buying in to everything your boss suggests seems a little simplistic, even when tempered by the suggestion that you should pick your battles and time your questions well.

Some readers will be put off by the book's formulaic structure and all the questions and tests, but the author livens it up with real-life case studies that many of us can relate to. The tough economic times of recent years provide the backdrop for this book, but the author's advice is targeted at the individual and should stand up well in any economic climate.

All in all, we have no problem recommending this book.

"The Reality-Based Rules of the Workplace" by Cy Wakeman is published by Jossey-Bass, a Wiley imprint.

That's the end of this episode of Book Insights. Thanks for listening.

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