Ethical Intelligence: Five Principles for Untangling Your Toughest Problems at Work and Beyond

This book is a gentle reminder for all of us. It doesn't matter who we are or what position we hold, we all define our lives and our sense of self by the choices we make every day. Even the smallest choices can be fraught with ethically challenging elements. "Ethical Intelligence" helps guide us through five principles we can use to make the ethically right choice in everything we do.

There are plenty of real-life accounts in the book that help put these five principles into perspective. This helps our understanding, and it also serves to drive these points home in a very real way.

The author, Bruce Weinstein, has a Ph.D. in philosophy and bioethics. He's the host of "Ask the Ethics Guy!" on Bloomberg Businessweek Online's management channel. His essays and columns have appeared in dozens of major publications around the world, and he's a frequent guest on many national news channels. Dr. Weinstein is also the author of several books on ethics.

So, keep listening to find out how ethical intelligence differs from emotional intelligence, to hear some tips on dealing with people you just don't like, and to learn the ethically intelligent way to criticize others.

"Ethical Intelligence" is divided into three parts, with a total of 10 chapters. So, it's not a lengthy read.

Chapter one provides us with an overview of ethical intelligence. It opens with a quiz we're encouraged to take to test our ethical intelligence. The quiz is interesting because each question puts us in an ethically ambiguous situation. And, we have to decide what we would actually do in these situations.

Now, most of us can guess the "right" answer from the multiple choice options given. But, would we really do the right thing in our everyday life? That question is a bit tougher to answer.

The author next lays out the five principles on which the rest of the book is built. He says these five principles are common in all societies and religions around the world. And, they're the guidelines we should be using to make the best decisions in life.

The five principles are Do No Harm, Make Things Better, Respect Others, Be Fair, and Be Loving. These five principles form the core of our ethical intelligence.

The author makes an important distinction early on in the book. Although ethical intelligence is closely related to emotional intelligence, the two are distinctly different.

Here's how. Imagine you've stepped into your colleague's office to say hello. She has her head down, she's biting her nails, and her shoulders are drawn up and hunched.

Your emotional intelligence can see that even though your colleague says she's feeling fine, she obviously isn't. Your emotional intelligence is what allows you to pick up on the subtle cues telling you she's upset and worried about something.

However, we can't use our emotional intelligence to decide what to do about it. Do we press her, to figure out what's wrong, or leave her alone as she seems to wish? This is where our ethical intelligence comes in. Ethical intelligence helps to determine our actions in the world.

Starting in chapter two, the author sets out to examine each of the five principles in greater detail. So, let's look at the first principle, Do No Harm. With this principle, you're saying that you'll only make choices that don't harm anyone, either physically or emotionally.

For the most part, the Do No Harm principle is about restraint. We practice this principle when we stop ourselves from gesturing at an aggressive driver on the highway. We practice this when don't engage in gossip about a co-worker, or we clean up a spill in the break room so someone else doesn't slip and get hurt.

Of course, doing no harm isn't always so black and white, and the author addresses this. Sometimes, we can't avoid causing distress. For instance, we may have to lay off a team member because of downsizing, or we may have to punish our kids when they do something wrong. In these cases, we should do everything we can to minimize the harm we have to do.

Another one of the five principles is to Respect Others.

Now, this sounds pretty cut and dried on the surface, right? Respecting others is just a matter of being nice and polite, so it should be easy enough.

Well, there's a lot more to it than that. The author says that ethically intelligent people show respect in the deepest sense by honoring the values, preferences, and the rights of others. In fact, he spends a good portion of this second chapter on the issue of respect, and exactly what it means in today's world.

For instance, most of us live by the Golden Rule. That is, we treat others how we'd like to be treated ourselves. But the author points out that this tried-and-tested rule doesn't always steer us in the right direction.

He gives an example to illustrate what he's talking about here. Imagine you invite three friends over for pizza. You order a meat-lovers pizza, since that's what you love. However, two of your friends are vegetarians. In this case, you did follow the Golden Rule. But, you still didn't do the right thing, since you didn't bother to find out if your friends would want a meat pizza.

It's a very simplistic example, but we feel the point is a good one. Respecting others in the deepest sense means going the extra step to make sure their needs and rights are met. So you could rewrite the Golden Rule like this: treat others how they would like to be treated.

Chapter three revisits the quiz from the very first chapter. And, chapter four goes over ten common questions about ethical intelligence. You might be wondering about some of these yourself at this point, so you may find this a useful chapter.

The real meat of the book, and the most practical information, starts in chapter five and continues through chapter eight. This is where we start learning how to apply ethics, and the five principles, when we're at work.

Starting in chapter five, we learn ethically intelligent ways of dealing with co-workers. The author focuses this chapter around three central issues: office romances, talking politics on the job, and dealing with people you can't stand.

Let's look at that last issue, since that's probably one many of us have experience with. The author opens up this chapter with an intriguing story of a past co-worker, called Louise, who never had anything nice to say to anyone. Louise complained about everything, and generally had a sour spirit all the time.

Then, the author gradually learned Louise's back-story. She'd come to the US as an immigrant, with nothing. She went to school and then started at the company at the bottom, working her way up. The author says once he learned Louise had experienced such a tough life, he stopped judging her behavior and became more empathetic.

Now, we completely agree it's important not to judge others, and all of us need to be empathetic at work. But, we have an issue with the author's premise that living a hard life is an excuse to bring a negative attitude to work. It's not.

Plenty of people have had a very difficult life, and they don't come to work with a bad attitude every day – because they realize how their behavior affects others. Should we always excuse bad behavior just because someone's had a hard time? We don't think so.

After this short story, the author says being loving to others, even people you don't like or can't stand, makes you feel good. And he's right. Much of the time, it really does. But how do you find a way to do that when you don't naturally feel warm towards someone?

One way to do this is to realize that if someone is unpleasant, it's usually not about us. The author brings up his story about Louise again here, saying that her negativity towards him was really an expression of the frustrations in her life. So, we shouldn't take things personally.

Again, it's a good point. But he doesn't address the fact that we should sometimes stand up to people like Louise when their behavior is harming others. So, use your own judgment here.

Another way you can be kind to people you don't like is to first be kind to yourself. The author addresses this in other parts of the book as well, and we think it's a good point.

Many of us get so busy and frazzled by all our responsibilities that when we're faced with someone we don't like, we make snap judgments or we say something unkind. But if we take time to be kind to ourselves first, then we're in a better mindset to be kind to others.

Chapter six will probably be most useful to people in a leadership position. Here, the author puts his focus on leaders, and discusses how to make the most of the people you lead. He examines issues every leader has had to face. Like, how to give criticism, how to downsize or fire staff members, and how to handle unpaid internships.

Let's take criticism as an example. Criticism can be a good thing. It helps people get back on track. It can inspire them to do better work. But a lot of times, leaders don't criticize their team in the most ethically intelligent way.

As leaders, we need to use our criticism to bring out the best in those we lead. And there are several tips in this section on how to do this.

First, we need to find the right setting for criticism. Criticizing someone in front of their colleagues is almost never appropriate. Next, we should always try to start out with something positive.

Last, when criticizing a team member, focus on the behavior, not the person.

The rest of the book covers how to apply ethical intelligence in other situations. There's a chapter showing you how to use it with your boss. And, there's another chapter covering how to use ethical intelligence with clients and shareholders.

The last two chapters apply these ideas to your personal life.

So, what's our last word on "Ethical Intelligence?"

This philosophical book raises questions we all need to ask, as we examine how we live our lives. The author does a good job of making us realize that the choices we make in life define who we are. So, we'd better be sure we're making the right ones.

Now, you won't learn anything new or groundbreaking here. The principles covered in the book are ones most of us have been taught since we learned how to walk. The purpose of the book is to remind us why it's important to live an ethical life, and how these principles can be applied in everyday situations.

What's unique about this book is its tone. It would be all too easy for the author, who's a professional ethicist, to come off sounding condescending or self-righteous. But the book is surprisingly compassionate and understanding. The author admits that, steeped in ethics as he is, even he doesn't always do the right thing. All of us are human. And we all make mistakes. So, don't think this is the kind of book that will make you feel guilty. It's not written that way.

One unexpected bonus is the appendix in the back of the book. The author includes a list of books, movies, and TV shows that will help us enrich our ethical intelligence. This is a surprising, and useful, addition.

"Ethical Intelligence," by Bruce Weinstein, is published by New World Library.

That's the end of this episode of Book Insights. Click here to buy the book from Amazon. Thanks for listening.