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Once you have carefully planned and delivered your feedback to an individual, you may think the job is done; far from it. You still have an important role to play in helping them to make good use of the feedback they have received, by overcoming defensiveness or resistance, setting goals and providing support.
Handling Defensiveness
Some people will react badly to constructive feedback. They may go through the stages of SARAH (shock; anger; rationalization/rejection; acceptance; help), getting stuck in the rationalization and rejection stage. [1] There are a number of ways they may try to deflect anything they perceive as criticism, including denying the problem, placing blame elsewhere or changing the subject to focus on something else.
If they react defensively or even angrily, be particularly careful not to get into an argument. Acknowledge and validate their opinion, but don’t be distracted: “I understand you don’t agree and have a different perspective, but I need you to hear my point of view.”
Equally, stick to facts and avoid generalizing or personalizing the issue: “I knew you’d react like this; you never listen to feedback.” This will only antagonize the other person and is likely to make them more defensive and angry, meaning they are even less likely to hear the core message.
Instead, try to move quickly on to future changes rather than dwelling on the point of contention: “Let’s not get bogged down in debating this; let’s look forward to how you can do things in future.”
Overcoming Resistance
people can be resistant to change for a number of reasons. One important factor in helping them to implement feedback is judging their readiness to change, based on your overall knowledge of them and their reaction to the feedback.
If they don’t seem ready, focus on making them aware of the need for change and the potential benefits for them. There may be emotional factors to consider, including a fear of failure or a lack of self-belief. Try to give them confidence by assuring them that you believe they can improve and change successfully and by offering support to do so. Also, explain the benefits for the team and/or wider organization, so that they can understand the practical implications and rewards. Be aware it may take a person in this frame of mind longer to change and may require several meetings/feedback sessions to successfully motivate them to make changes.
If, on the other hand, you find that they are more prepared and motivated to implement the feedback, your job should be to reinforce the belief that they can successfully change and encourage them to take responsibility for, and make commitment to, the change. Ensure they have everything they need in terms of resources and training and, again, offer your support.
Setting Goals
In Job Feedback, Manuel London talks extensively about the crucial role of goal setting as part of the feedback process.
“Goals make feedback meaningful, and feedback helps to improve goal achievement. Goals have little effect when feedback is not given. Similarly, feedback has little effect if it does not result in goal setting. Moreover, the combination of goal setting and feedback is more effective than either one alone.” [2]
Goals are what motivate people to change by giving them targets to aim for and also a standard by which to judge their own development. As such, good goal setting is a vital component of helping people use constructive feedback. There are three key factors to good goal setting: involve the person in setting them, and make them challenging, but achievable.
Studies have shown that goals set by other people are rarely effective in the long-term. [3] Involve the person in setting the goals and they will feel more invested in the process, which is likely to make them more committed to achieving them. Discuss what you both think the targets should be and find common ground you can agree on. The goals should be challenging, stretching the person to improve themselves. However, be wary of setting the bar too high. Unrealistic goals are likely to be demotivating and tap into any feelings of inadequacy or fear of failure.
Once an ultimate goal has been agreed, it may be useful to set small goals as stepping stones to the final target. It is also important to regularly follow up, gaging progress towards goals and offering assistance as and when appropriate. Finally, make the person aware that you are available to them to approach with questions, for clarification or advice at any stage. This could help overcome any periods of doubt or insecurity they may encounter if the process becomes difficult or they feel that they lack skills or knowledge to achieve their goals.
The attached Good Goal Setting Worksheet will help guide you through this process.
Conclusion
If you can successfully navigate your way through a person’s natural fears and defenses, motivate them to change, set good goals and support them as they work towards them, you’ll give them the best possible chance of turning your feedback into positive action.
[1] SARAH is discussed in more depth in Making Feedback Work for You.
[2] Manuel London, Job Feedback (Psychology Press, 2010) p142.
[3] Manuel London, Job Feedback (Psychology Press, 2010) p141.
References[1] SARAH is discussed in more depth in Making Feedback Work for You.
[2] Manuel London, Job Feedback (Psychology Press, 2010) p142.
[3] Manuel London, Job Feedback (Psychology Press, 2010) p141.
