Nice Teams Finish Last: The Secret to Unleashing Your Team's Potential

If you don't have a nice team, then chances are you have what the author calls a "Fierce team." Fierce teams are cut-throat and fast-paced. They might spend way too much time in-fighting and jockeying for position, and if they have to step on toes to accomplish their goals so be it. As you can imagine, they don't accomplish much either.

This is why we should try to create "Bold teams," the author says. Bold teams are the delicate balance between Nice teams and Fierce teams. Bold teams aren't afraid to rock the boat or offer up sincere, constructive criticism when it is needed. Bold teams are respectful, but honest.

In "Nice Teams Finish Last," the author teaches us why Nice teams don't work. And, he shows us how we can go about creating Bold teams.

We know the title is a bit provocative. But "Nice Teams Finish Last" isn't a book that promotes the ruthless pursuit of goals, or stepping on anyone to get the job done. The title suggests this might be the case. But it isn't. There's nothing in here that promotes meanness, or suggests that you need negative work ethics in order to be successful.

The "nice" of the title, just like the other labels "bold" and "fierce" are just shorthand for the different dynamics of different teams, which are largely to do with the way they're managed. To get the most out of this book, it's probably best to stifle any questions you may have about these labels, and look instead at what the author's really saying.

For instance, when he talks about Bold teams, he means people who speak the truth. And unlike the Fierce teams, Bold teams do it in a caring, honest way. They're the teams that exceed goals and produce work that's passionate, original and ground-breaking.

If you're in any kind of leadership or team management position, you'll find a wealth of information in "Nice Teams Finish Last." Just learning why Nice teams can be so damaging, in chapter one, is worth the price of the book. So many of us think that they're working in a great team. But after reading this eye-opening chapter, it's easy to see why this isn't the case.

The author, Brian Cole Miller, has over 25 years' experience as a team builder and facilitator. He's an international speaker on team building, and consults with both large and small companies globally.

So, keep listening to find out why you should think twice before saying yes, why you should always assume your team is innocent until proven guilty, and what happens when you deliberately avoid the word but.

"Nice Teams Finish Last" is divided into eight chapters, and contains five appendices of assessments and planning forms that most readers will find highly useful.

The first chapter goes over why Nice teams just don't work. And as you heard earlier, this is one of the most valuable chapters, because the author does such a great job dispelling seven myths about Nice teamwork – by which he means the kind of teamwork we all think we should be aiming for.

For instance, one of the most common myths is that we should be praising each other all the time. After all, why waste time and energy on negative things like finding fault?

Well, the author says most of the time, praise in nice teams can be vague, whitewashed or insincere. Criticism is saved for private conversation, which doesn't really help anyone improve. People on Nice teams often lack the courage or energy to provide truly constructive criticism, because they're afraid of upsetting the other person.

Another myth about nice teamwork is that teams always try to find a way to say yes. After all, saying yes keeps teams and clients happy, right?

Well, saying yes all the time is a major fault of nice teams. It causes teams to miss targets and deadlines, and often results in shoddy work because everyone is overloaded.

By the time you're done with this chapter it's easy to see why Nice teams aren't nearly as effective as we always thought.

Chapter two goes into the opposite of Nice teams. Fierce teams, the author says, are just as bad as Nice teams. And he makes a great distinction here. He says Nice teams pursue success through relationships. Fierce teams pursue success at the expense of relationships.

This is why we so badly need to create Bold teams, which the author says is the perfect balance between these two positions. Bold teams give each other balanced feedback and love to debate the issues. They pay attention to their work, as well as how they get that work done. And Bold teams respect the diversity in their group.

So, it sounds as if Bold teams are the ideal, and the author makes the case that this is so. But do we really have a chance of turning our Nice team, or Fierce team, into a Bold team?

Well, that's what the rest of the book teaches us how to do.

Chapter four lists the four main principles of Bold teams. You can think of these principles as the foundation on which great Bold teams are built.

First, Bold teams assume innocence. This takes patience and trust on the part of your team members, but it's vital if your team is to succeed.

For instance, imagine someone on your team does something that offends you. Most people automatically judge or accuse the person, even if your accusation never gets voiced. You might think they're lazy, or inconsiderate, or that they're purposely trying to make you mad.

Assuming innocence means you withhold judgment and you don't jump to conclusions. You approach the person directly about the situation, with curiosity instead of accusation, and get the facts, instead of getting worked up.

Another principle is that Bold teams must build bridges. This means you actively listen to what the person is saying when there's an issue that needs resolution. You seek first to understand where they're coming from with empathy and respect. Why?

Because you can't build a bridge to collaborate and resolve problems unless you first know where the other person's coming from. You can't be a team unless you acknowledge other people's contribution, and position, and then work together to move forward.

One great tip the author includes here is to watch how we use the word but. When we use the word but, it negates everything we said before and, in a subtle way, dismisses it as trite or unimportant.

For instance, imagine if someone said this to you: "I understand where you're coming from, and I believe that you're making some great points. But, my position is that we need to focus on quality first."

That one word, but, negated the good feelings that started off the conversation. Yes, the person agreed with you at first. However, the word but probably made you feel that she felt her view was more important than yours, right? It's like running into a brick wall.

The author says we can easily use the word and instead. In situations where it works grammatically, it gives an entirely different feeling to the conversation. The word but negates everything that came before it. The word and joins the two viewpoints in a much more positive light. Listen to this:

"I understand where you're coming from, and I believe that you're making some great points. And, my position is that we need to focus on quality first."

Watch out though – this advice doesn't work in all situations. Sometimes you need the "but" in there, or your point won't come across clearly. So this is a tip to bear in mind, rather than always follow.

The other two principles for Bold teams are just as insightful, and there are more great tips in this chapter that can really make a difference to how your team interacts and communicates.

For instance, it's easy for teammates to react defensively or pessimistically to confrontation. We can negate this by using their names respectfully when we're speaking to them. People always soften when they hear their own name, so you can help improve their reaction simply by using their names.

There's also an innovative graph that shows what each principle looks like in Nice, Bold and Fierce teams. We thought this graph would be especially helpful if you weren't sure where your team stood on the scale.

Chapter five covers how to give Bold feedback. And this chapter starts out by giving us some great advice on what feedback is not.

First, feedback is not hindsight. You should never tell people what they should have done. It's also not criticism. Feedback sessions shouldn't be used to tell people what they did was good or bad.

The author says Bold feedback is simply telling people how you experienced their actions. In his view, effective feedback is a critical component of Bold teams. Without it, people can't improve. But giving good feedback requires a balance of compassion and courage.

If we need to give feedback to our team members, we must start with sincerity. If our team is going to be Bold and have trust, our feedback needs to come from a place of caring. Everything we say must reflect this feeling. If it doesn't, we're going to come across as critical.

There are some really great tips about feedback in this chapter, such as the best time to give feedback, where to give the feedback, and why it can be useful to ask permission before giving feedback.

The author also goes into great detail about how to structure our feedback, so the person can actually use it to change. We thought this was one of the most valuable tips in the book. There's a lot to learn in this chapter, so make sure you don't miss it.

Chapter six is all about making requests. And just like in chapter five, there are some really useful tips in here about how to make requests of your team without getting a defensive reaction from them.

For instance, imagine you want to ask one of your team members to start doing a process differently. Instead of jumping right into this request, show him respect by allowing him to choose when you have the conversation. For instance, you could ask him if he'd like to talk now, or after the staff meeting.

The author also says we can temper difficult requests with positive feedback first. Although we must be very careful to transition from feedback to request with the word and, not but, as you heard earlier. Remember, the word but subtly suggests to the person that everything you said previously is disregarded.

The appendices at the end of the book are highly useful. These tests and worksheets will help you see if your team is Nice or not. You'll also learn how to identify your team members? style, and take a quiz to see if you're using Bold principles when it comes to confrontations, feedbacks and requests.

So what's our last word on "Nice Teams Finish Last"?

We think it's a book full of valuable tips for turning your Nice, or Fierce, team into a Bold one. The book is an eye-opener, because the author does a great job illustrating just how ineffective Nice teams can sometimes be. And he gives us practical ways to start turning things around so we can be truly effective.

He also makes it clear that Bold teams are about compassion and balance. Nowhere does he advocate being mean or conniving, as you try to bring success to your team. Again, we know the title might lead some readers to think that's what the book is about, but it's not the case. Bold teams are all about respect and honesty. That's what we should be shooting for.

Members of successful teams can also be "nice" people, of course, in the usual sense of the word. And as many people have discovered, a pleasant and helpful attitude goes a long way at work. So the title should certainly be taken with a grain of salt.

The labels too, shouldn't be taken too seriously. We could say that "nice," "fierce," and "bold" are just synonyms for "laissez-faire managed," "unpleasantly political," and "properly managed". In other words, the author is simply advocating the use of good management practices.

All that said, many of the tips in here are insightful and can be used by any manager at any level. If you're leading a team right now, you can use these strategies the next time you go into work. We really feel that they'll make a positive difference in how you interact with your team.

"Nice Teams Finish Last," by Brian Cole Miller, is published by American Management Association.

That's the end of this episode of Book Insights. Click here to buy the book from Amazon. Thanks for listening.