Authenticity Video

Welcome to Mind Tools' video learning series.

Most of us know that feeling of "not quite fitting in."

We try to compensate by behaving in ways we think other people will like, and telling them what we think they want to hear. We go against our true natures to try and impress, or to be accepted by the people around us.

In short, we live inauthentically.

This can be tiring. But worse, it boxes in who we really are and holds us back from fulfilling our potential.

The antidote is to be true to ourselves.

Living authentically means choosing your own course and living life by your own values – not those of anyone else.

But this can be harder than it sounds. It can force you to go against the grain, be unconventional, or open yourself up to criticism or ridicule. It can also take a surprisingly long time to achieve.

Here are seven steps you can take to become authentic.

First, identify your core values and commit to living by them.

Then, identify gaps between who you are now and the person you know you can be. Approach each gap one by one.

In order to be authentic, you also need to live with integrity. This takes courage, but it can help you feel better about yourself.

Honest communication is crucial to being authentic. This means being truthful, but not in a brutal way. Speak your mind but always respect other people's feelings.

It is important to let people's actions speak for themselves. Don't be guided by your own assumptions, and try to take people's words at face value.

Strength of character is a "must" for authentic living, so build your self-confidence. A strong sense of self will help you get through challenging situations.

Finally, learn how to control your emotions. This is important because it shows that you have inner strength and that you respect the people around you.

To learn more about how to live authentically, see the article that accompanies this video.