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Dealing With Perfectionism
By Melanie Bell, Mindtools Content Writer and Editor
I’m part of a project team that’s creating something new: a suite of adaptive courses that uses AI to guide individual learning paths. There aren’t a lot of projects like that on the market yet, so there aren’t a lot of protocols for how to make them.
It's been exciting to work with a team to decide how to convey quick, fun yet effective learning about interpersonal skills for managers in this new format. It’s also been a major learning curve – and perfectionism has come into the picture.
Our project manager is highly detail oriented, and I have a perfectionist streak at times. These can be positive things, leading to quality results. They can also delay progress. After all, results need to happen.
How to balance the drive to create quality with the need for results?
Below are some factors to consider if you’re managing perfectionists on your team or if you have perfectionist tendencies yourself, along with some lessons that my project team has learned about striking the right balance.
Different Types of Perfectionism
We often speak about perfectionism like it’s one thing, but it can be broken down into different types of thinking, with distinct motivations. Since coming to work at Mind Tools, I’ve learned about two different ways of categorizing perfectionism.
Psychologists Paul Hewitt and Gorden Flett describe three types of perfectionism:
- Self-oriented perfectionism: wanting oneself to be perfect
- Other-oriented perfectionism: expecting perfection from others
- Socially prescribed perfectionism: feeling pressure from others to be perfect
I’ve experienced all three. Self-oriented perfectionism might be the most painful one for me, and it’s what I’m feeling now as I work on a completely new type of project. “Oh no! What if I get it wrong?”
In his book “The Pursuit of Perfect,” Dr Tal Ben-Shahar breaks perfectionism into two types: adaptive and maladaptive perfectionism.
Adaptive perfectionism might be what people think of when they describe perfectionism as a good thing. It refers to having high standards and seeking to continually improve. Harvard Business Review describes this as “excellence-seeking perfectionism.” This behavior can stem from an optimistic mindset, but it comes with its own challenges, and it does not, in fact, improve outcomes.
Maladaptive perfectionism, in contrast, tends to come from negative feelings such as a fear of failure. Maladaptive perfectionists are unhappy with their accomplishments and think that anything imperfect is not good enough. Harvard Business Review describes this as “failure-avoiding perfectionism.”
Maladaptive perfectionism can include behaviors like avoiding tasks where you’re unlikely to do well, applying unrealistic standards to yourself or others, and reacting poorly if you make a mistake.
Managing Perfectionists
When managing a team, how you respond to perfectionism can depend on the type of perfectionistic behavior being displayed.
If a team member shows adaptive perfectionism, this might not be a problem. Maybe they produce excellent work consistently and are always trying to build upon their skills. But they manage their own perfectionistic tendencies by recognizing when to stop working on a project – when enough is enough.
If they keep going over their work endlessly, though, this might be a sign of maladaptive perfectionism. Such team members might seem anxious and take much more time to deliver work than what the project requires.
Maladaptive perfectionism can be bad for both project delivery and the team member’s mental health. A maladaptive perfectionist might display some of these tendencies at work:
- Having difficulty delegating
- Micromanaging teammates
- Checking over their work repeatedly
- Producing less than others or failing to meet deadlines
- Finding it difficult to accept constructive feedback.
So, what can you do to help someone who’s demonstrating these behaviors?
- Communicate sensitively about what you’ve noticed. People with traits of maladaptive perfectionism may lack self-awareness and might not realize how their behavior impacts others. If they’re delaying a project, for example, you could sincerely compliment their attention to detail and remind them of the goal at hand.
- Assign them tasks that play to their strengths, especially ones that are detail focused and limited in scope.
- When giving feedback, emphasize that it’s meant to support their growth.
- Encourage a positive mindset and support team members in confronting their fear of failure. This might involve taking risks, but risks are often what’s needed to reach your full potential.
Managing Your Perfectionism
So much for perfectionism in others. What if you notice perfectionistic traits in yourself?
I’m far from perfect at my job, but I do display a perfectionistic streak at times. Many of us do! Here are a few tips for what to do when you find yourself wanting to make everything just so, and it’s getting in your way.
- Set realistic goals. Curb your tendency to bite off more than you can chew by learning about techniques, such as SMART goals, for setting clear, specific objectives and breaking bigger projects into steps.
- Adjust your personal rules. Start by noticing which rules you’re following. For perfectionists, they’re often rigid, such as making sure to check an e-mail over twice before sending it. Challenge yourself to make these rules more flexible.
- Watch your self-talk. Perfectionism can come with an inner voice saying your work (or you) isn’t good enough. Notice what it says and question it. Challenge any beliefs about perfection and any behaviors that stem from them.
Lessons From My Project Team
Our project team faces the challenging task of creating something so new that we have little precedent for it. How are we managing this, given the perfectionistic tendencies on the team?
Some of our colleagues at Mindtools speak of creating “MVPs” or “minimum viable products.” This means making products that meet clients’ needs but don’t include all the “bells and whistles” yet. It involves creating a prototype that works. It can always be refined later. I’ve kept the concept of an MVP in mind as we work on our courses, and at times, I’ve reminded others of this idea.
Another thing that’s been a big help for us is delegating and getting extra help. Initially, just a few team members were working on the project. It was painstaking work that took a long time, and we had a deadline. To meet it, we brought additional colleagues into the project. They didn’t have the same level of training in the tasks, but we’ve been making do by offering instructions, answering questions, and dividing up the work. With all this help available, it’s getting done a lot faster!
What’s Next?
For more on perfectionism, and additional tips on how to deal with it, see our articles on Perfectionism and Managing Perfectionists. Our Expert Interview on “The Pursuit of Perfect” goes in-depth with Dr Tal Ben-Shahar about his book on this subject.
Tip of the Week
Treat Delegation as a Development Opportunity
By Simon Bell, Mindtools Content Writer and Editor
Delegating work to a team member can be a great opportunity to help them develop new skills and improve in specific performance areas. If you know a team member wants to work on their presentation skills, for example, delegating part or all of an internal or external presentation could be a great way of helping them to achieve this goal. Keep in mind that team members might need additional support and guidance from you as they complete the work you’ve delegated.
Tasks suitable for delegation tend to be straightforward, routine or administrative. But when it’s appropriate, try to delegate interesting or challenging tasks or projects, as well as the routine ones. This helps to empower and motivate team members, while also supporting their development.
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