People Styles at Work

What's the difference here? Why is it that we can we work so well with some people, and then get matched up with someone else who seems nice, but deep down drives us crazy?

The answer lies in our people style.

According to the authors of People Styles at Work, all of us fit into one of four people styles – or personality types. And when we work or have a relationship with someone whose style is very different from ours, we run into problems.

These problems take an enormous toll on us. Think of the stress and fatigue that comes with working alongside someone you really don't get along with.

People problems can be incredibly taxing on both our mental and physical health. But, these differences can easily be managed, if we know how. People Styles at Work was written solely for that purpose. This book teaches us exactly what the four people styles are, and how we can use this knowledge to work more productively with those who are very different from us.

The authors, Robert and Dorothy Bolton, are cofounders of Ridge Associates, which specializes in people skills training and leadership development. They've trained and coached many executives from Fortune 500 companies.

Robert Bolton also wrote the best selling book, People Skills.

People Styles at Work is aimed at everyone who has relationships, both personal and professional. So unless you're a hermit, you're going to find a lot of valuable information on working with and relating to others in this book.

So, how are these four people styles different from so many other personality type assessments, like Myers-Briggs or the Big Five?

Well, Myers-Briggs focuses on personality types, and how to use that information to analyze everything from your daily choices to what career suits you best.

The Big Five model identifies the five most important dimensions of our personalities when we're at work. The goal is to use this information to help match the right person to the right job to achieve success for both the company, and the individual.

Now, all three of these models attempt to dissect our personality so we can better understand our thoughts and feelings. People Styles stands out because of its emphasis on how to use your style in relationship to others. People Styles addresses our personality and style clashes head on, and gives us concrete ways to work around them.

So, keep listening to find out what people style you might be; how your style reacts to stressful situations; and how you can flex your style to work better with co-workers who are different from you.

People Styles at Work is divided into three main parts, with 17 chapters in total, and four in-depth appendices.

The first part of the book dives into each of the four people styles.

These four personality styles are based on the work Doctor David Merrill, conducted in the early 1960s. Doctor Merrill developed a typology that focused on the behavioral differences between people.

The authors felt that Merrill's approach needed to be more specific, which is why they decided to expand on his work. Their model has more applications and specific how-tos than Merrill's approach.

This is helpful because People Styles At Work spells it all out for us. The authors give us clear, step-by-step instructions on how to use much of this information. So, there's no guessing or confusion on our part.

The authors make an important point right off the bat, because they stress that no one style is better or worse than another. It helps to keep this in mind when we're working with someone who's the opposite of ourselves. Just because they're not like us doesn't mean they're bad, or that their thoughts or behavior is wrong. They're just different.

So, wondering what your own style is? Well, one of the first chapters has a self-assessment test so readers can discover their own people style.

The test is a bit tricky, because instead of answering questions from your perspective, the authors want you to answer based on how you feel others perceive you.

At first, this may sound easy. But we took the test ourselves, and it was more difficult than we thought it would be.

For instance, would your co-workers think that you have more forceful gestures, or less forceful gestures? Would they agree that you lean back when stating your opinion, or that you lean forward?

How we see ourselves and how others see us are often two very different things. So, you might need to ask your colleagues to help you complete the test.

Once you've taken the test you get to find out what the four people styles are. According to the authors, the four categories that all of us fall into are Driver, Expressive, Amiable, and Analytical.

In chapter six, we get to take a look at what these people styles actually stand for. The authors spend several pages on each people style. And, in the interest of time, we certainly can't go into the vast richness and detail that they outline. So, keep in mind that there's far more in the book than what we're covering here!

Listen closely to see which people style category you think you'd fall into.

Let's start with Drivers. Drivers are the get-it-done people. They walk fast, they talk fast, and they get impatient when they encounter someone slower than themselves. Drivers don't agonize over decisions, and have an incredibly strong desire for closure.

Expressives are similar to Drivers in their assertiveness, but they're far more flamboyant and people-oriented. Expressives are impulsive. They love bright colors and eye-catching projects, and they thrive in the limelight. If they're stuck behind a desk all day crunching numbers, they're not happy.

Amiables are less assertive than Expressives, but they excel at people skills like that group. Amiables are friendly and easy-going, and they exude a quiet responsiveness and empathy that's often key to keeping harmony within a team. These are the people who always offer a listening ear, and will drop everything to help you finish a tricky project that's under deadline.

Last but not least are the Analyticals. These are the number-crunchers, the perfectionists, the organizers. Analyticals always focus on quality rather than quantity, and their goal is to get it done right the first time. The term "quick fix" isn't in their vocabulary.

Now, it may seem as if all we're doing is throwing around a bunch of labels. But, the authors stress that all of us have a personality that falls predominately into one of these areas.

This doesn't mean that because we're a Driver we never act like an Analytical, or that if we're an Expressive we'll never act like a perfectionist Analytical. It simply means that overall, we exhibit behaviors that, most of the time, fall into one of these four categories.

So, now that we know what the four people styles are, what do we do with this information?

Well, the whole point of the book is to help us learn how to avoid people problems. And, one of the biggest people problems we run into is communicating with others when we're under stress.

The authors say that no style handles stress well. And often, when we're under intense stress, we move into what they call a backup style.

Backup style is our automatic reaction to a stressful situation. Backup behavior is often inappropriate and inflexible, but it helps us immediately alleviate the stress we're under. Think of it as a survival technique.

Our backup behavior is our strongest personality trait, times ten.

For example, a talkative Expressive in backup might start yelling at his team during a stressful meeting. A quiet Analytical might become cold and uncommunicative. A get-it-done Driver might go overboard pushing her team too hard to finish a project, and an empathetic Amiable might do everything in his power to make sure conflict is avoided.

This was one of our favorite sections in the book, and we think that readers will really appreciate learning about this issue. After all, most of us have blown up or reacted in a way that's completely abnormal for our personality at some point in the past. Knowing about our own backup styles can really help us identify when we're starting to slip into that behavior.

There's an entire chapter on coping with backup behavior. The information here is incredibly useful, because we learn how to contain the damage when we're in our own backup style. We also learn how to communicate and work with others when they're demonstrating their own backup behavior.

So, what can you do if you find yourself in the deep end, in backup mode?

Well, the authors suggest taking some time out. This may sound like an avoidance behavior, but the truth is that taking time out means you're sparing others the unpleasantness of your behavior. It also gives you time to calm down and start thinking more rationally.

Another good tip is to be aware that you can control your behavior. For instance, if you were in backup mode, screaming at a co-worker, and suddenly your company president walked in, don't you think you could control yourself then?

Of course you could. All of us can control our behavior at all times. We just have to find the will to do it.

This chapter has several more tips we can use to control our backup behavior, as well as some great information on working productively with others when they're in backup mode. If you work with people who often lose their cool when under stress, this is definitely a chapter you won't want to miss.

The next section of the book is all about style flexing. This is a technique that we can use to work with others who are very different from ourselves.

Basically, when two different people styles have to work together, one or both of them must adjust, or the relationship won't be pleasant or productive. But when at least one person is willing to be flexible, the relationship can work well.

But, this is easier said than done, right?

Well, surprisingly it's not. All it takes is an open mind and a willingness to be flexible around someone else.

One of the most important points the authors bring up is that people usually assume it's the other person who needs to change. So, they try to change their co-workers, their friends, or their spouse to fit their own idea of how they should be.

We can all raise our hands to attest that this rarely, if ever, works.

The best thing we can do is to temporarily change some of our own behaviors so the other person can easily relate to us.

Remember the scenario we opened up with at the beginning of this podcast? In that situation, the imaginary you was giving incredibly detailed reports to your boss, who never listened and fidgeted the whole time you were talking.

Well, with a bit of observation you might have realized that your boss was a Driver. She doesn't like to be mired down with the details like you, the Analytical. She just wants the big picture, so she can move on with the rest of her day.

You could dramatically improve your relationship with your boss simply by changing the way you give your reports to her. Just because you love details doesn't mean that she does. So, give her the big picture and let the rest go.

This is just one example of style flexing.

The authors bring up an important point in this chapter. Style flexing should only be used at key times. Constantly changing your behavior to mirror someone else can create distrust among your colleagues. So, there is a fine line to walk here.

When done with foresight, style flexing can be incredibly useful for working productively with people who are very different from you.

So how do you know when you need to just be yourself, and when style flexing is appropriate? You learn it all in this section. The authors give us a step-by-step system for style flexing, as well as detailed tips on when it's appropriate.

The last section of the book focuses on our personal relationships. Here, the authors cover our relationships with a spouse or partner, and relationships with children.

They address a problem so many of us have encountered in our past relationships. And, that's the problem of trying to change our partner.

But, this is the fastest way to make a relationship fail. The authors stress here that we can only change ourselves. And the secret to making a good relationship last is knowing what to overlook.

We really enjoyed this last chapter. We all struggle with parents, partners, or kids who have very different styles from us. The chapter on personal relationships is fascinating, because the authors give us just enough information to help us grow.

One of the most valuable features of the book is the appendices, and they go hand in hand with the section on style flexing.

For instance, if you're an Amiable, how would you go about style flexing with your boss, who is an Expressive?

Well, all you'd have to do is turn to Appendix One, which gives detailed instructions for Amiables. For instance, Amiables who need to style flex to an Expressive need to pick up the pace of their speech, increase their energy, and focus on the big picture.

There's one appendix for each style, and each one is full of rich and useful instructions and tips. We were very impressed that the authors included this fantastic resource. Readers won't be disappointed with the information here!

So, does People Styles At Work offer anything new to the information-heavy field of personality assessments? Well, we think so. The reason is that the authors really make this information useful in our day-to-day routines.

Sure, it's helpful to know that you're an INFJ in Myers-Briggs scale, or that according to the Big Five you scored in the eightieth percentile in Openness. This information can help you recognize your strengths and weaknesses so you can improve.

But when it comes to dealing with others, this information can only take you so far.

People Styles At Work steps in and fills this gap nicely, which is why we think it's a relevant, and highly useful addition to this field.

But we do need to point out again that the authors used a limited amount of research to create this model. While the book seems sound, the model doesn't have the large research base that other models do. So, you might want to treat this information cautiously – use it if it works for you, and don't worry if it doesn't.

The book is also an easy read. The authors have done an excellent job keeping the tone of the book conversational. And, while we can't say the book is a rollicking adventure story, it is highly accessible and approachable. You won't find any long-winded theories or daunting blocks of text. Just easy-to-read, useful content.

Because anyone can benefit from this information, we have no problem giving the book a full recommendation.

People Styles at Work, by Robert Bolton and Dorothy Grover Bolton, is published by Amacom Books.

That's the end of this episode of Book Insights. Click here to buy the book from Amazon.