Optimism Gone Wrong

According to Dr Graham Reynolds, adjunct professor at Columbia University, “Toxic positivity occurs when encouraging statements are expected to minimize or eliminate painful emotions, creating pressure to be unrealistically optimistic without considering the circumstances of the situation.”

What it adds up to is invalidating negative emotions and experiences. As Harvard psychologist Susan David recently tweeted, “Forced positivity = my comfort is more important than your reality.”

You’re hearing what someone is saying and trying to help, and finding that silver lining is coming from a good place. But you’re not actually helping. It’s what you might call emotional unintelligence.

Of course, you can try to invalidate your own emotions with silver linings, too. But since you are fully aware of how you feel… well, let’s just say, denial is not just a river in Egypt.

And denying negative emotions, yours or someone else’s, in the long run is damaging to mental health.

As Psychology Today puts it, “Emotional suppression doesn’t only fail to resolve the underlying problem, but it can also breed guilt, shame, sadness, and anxiety.

“Emotions contain important information; they can point the way toward changes that lead to fulfillment, happiness, and meaning. Genuine emotional expression also fosters authenticity, which is an essential ingredient of wellbeing.”

So, someone may reveal to you that they “hate their job.” A toxically positive response might be to say, “Well, you’re lucky to have one,” which is true in one sense.

Hardly any consolation if you’re getting bullied at work. A more truly empathetic response would be to show concern, find out why, and see what they plan on doing. Without solutionizing, of course.

Pressure to Be Happy

In her research in “The Dark Side of #PositiveVibes,” Dr Zoe Wyatt lays much of the blame for the spread of toxic positivity at social media’s door.

She posits, “Social media platforms often showcase an idealized version of life, emphasizing positive experiences while downplaying or ignoring negative ones.

“This can create unrealistic expectations and pressure individuals to maintain a facade of constant happiness.”

This pressure to “maintain a facade of constant happiness” is also prevalent in the workplace. Forbes recently reported a Science of People study revealing that 67.8 percent of respondents said they experienced toxic positivity from someone in the past week.

Simply pretending problems in the workplace don’t exist doesn’t make them disappear.

Cutbacks, over-running projects, and team members in conflict, overloaded, and burning out require authentic communication that acknowledges the issue and doesn’t gloss over it with a fake smile.

Tips to Avoid Toxic Positivity

While any good manager or leader will rightly invest plenty of energy in boosting team morale by modeling a positive mindset and attitude, the growth offered by dealing with negative issues and attitudes can’t be overlooked. This is a problem that requires solving, and therefore it’s a learning opportunity.

Things managers and leaders can do to ensure positivity doesn’t get toxic include:

• Offer support. Empathetically consider people’s feelings; don’t brush off negative emotions and pretend everything is fine when it’s not.
• Discuss those difficult workplace challenges and find real solutions.
• Stop ignoring or minimizing employees’ negative feedback.
• If change is happening, be honest about the reasons why. Be authentic with your team – this will build trust.
• Build a psychologically safe work environment, where people feel comfortable raising difficult issues and don’t fear a negative reaction.

It’s also vital to distinguish between optimism and toxic positivity – one proactively seeks a solution or outcome but admits to the problems. The other is essentially burying your head in the sand, while repeating, “Nothing to see here.”

That approach doesn’t have a great track record of success.

What’s Next?

Championing authentic, honest communication is at the heart of creating a healthy workplace culture. See our article Transparent Communication for Managers for more guidance on this.

And for a wider view of growing a healthy workplace culture, see our resource on Building a Positive Team.

Tip of the Week

Recognizing Burnout

By Melanie Bell, Mindtools Content Writer and Editor

At the end of last year, I hit a wall at work. Along with managing this newsletter, I’d been working hard to bring our Manager Skill Builder courses over the line. Outside of work, I was helping to organize an international conference, prepare my poetry book for publication, and assemble a team to get the musical I co-wrote ready for a performance in the Brighton Fringe.

One day, I took Mindtools’ Burnout Self-Test. I’d taken the quiz the year before, and it had confirmed I wasn’t feeling burnt out. This time, the results were clear – burnout lurked around the corner.

Burnout is more than tiredness – it's caused by long periods of stress and results in detachment, irritability, fatigue, and decreased motivation. It also exists on a spectrum. Fortunately, my case wasn’t yet at a critical point. I was able to recognize the signs and build in breaks when I really, really needed them.

Our article Essential Self-Care for Women Leaders suggests that my case was typical. Women leaders are especially susceptible to burning out as they juggle work and personal responsibilities, and manage societal pressures. If that’s you, take note.

This year, I’ve been reaping the rewards of last year’s hard work, and I’ve been making efforts to bring balance back into my life while doing so. Sometimes we do need to work hard to make things happen – but not at the expense of our wellbeing.

Pain Points Podcast

How you breathe can have a huge impact on the way you think, feel – and work. On the podcast this week. Jonathan Hancock meets breathing coach Jane Tarrant to find out why so many of us are doing it wrong, and what we can do about it.

Discover whether bad breathing has changed the shape of your face. Hear why some people forget to breathe when they're stressed. And learn simple techniques that can boost both your wellbeing and your performance at work simply by changing the way you breathe.

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Video of the Week

Ambidextrous Leadership With Steven Blue

A leader has a duty to their stakeholders. But can shareholders and employees all get what they want? How can you make everyone happy?

In this expert video, businessman Steven Blue tells how and why leaders need to be "ambidextrous" to succeed.

Watch Now

News Roundup

This Week's Global Workplace Insights

Navigating a Toxic Workplace

It’s not just positivity that can be toxic. You may be more familiar with the concept of toxic workplaces. Signs that you might be in one can include a lack of trust among your team, passive-aggression, exclusion, and feeling unsafe about communicating.

According to Babson College professor Jennifer Tosti-Kharas, younger employees (Millennials and Gen Z) are less willing to put up with unhealthy workplace conditions and seek to establish better boundaries than their older colleagues, reflecting a growing awareness of mental health in general.

The Independent shares some tips about how to deal with a toxic workplace if you find yourself in this unhappy situation:

• Seek support outside of work.
• Document unhealthy behavior.
• If you can’t leave the job, seek ways to put distance between yourself and your most problematic colleagues (such as working different shifts).
• Consider approaching HR, or leaving the job if you need to.

Confused by Corporate Speak? Try a Translator

Another way that younger generations are engaging in the workplace? When Gen Z workers find themselves confused by corporate jargon, Financial Times reports, they might look to social media for “translators.”

Platforms such as TikTok feature content by creators like Laura Whaley, whose “how do you professionally say” videos translate feelings into office-friendly phrasing. These videos are popular, and some younger workers are using AI for “corporate translations,” too.

Gen Z employees tend to have a more direct way of expressing their feelings – but this can get them in trouble with older colleagues who use more cautious dialects. And sometimes using newer slang in the workplace can create communication barriers, too. A younger worker might confuse others by saying “You ate” when they mean “You did a great job.”

So, next time you’re confused by the jargon in a work email or wondering how to diplomatically express your feelings to your boss, consider checking TikTok!

See you next week for more member-exclusive content and insight from the Mindtools team!