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Do you feel that someone is continually taking
advantage of you? Do you seem to have to fight your corner aggressively,
or ally with others, to win the resources you need? Or do you
struggle to get what you want from people whose help you need,
but over whom you have little direct authority? If so, you may
need to brush up your win-win negotiation skills.
The purpose of negotiation is to resolve
situations where what you want conflicts with what someone else
wants. The aim of win-win negotiation is to find a solution
that is acceptable to both parties, and leaves all involved
feeling that they've won – in some way – once the negotiation has finished.
There are different styles of negotiation,
depending on circumstances.
Where you do not expect to deal with people
ever again and you do not need their goodwill, then it may be
appropriate to "play hardball", seeking to win a negotiation
while the other person loses out. Many people go through this
when they buy or sell a house – this is why house-buying
can be such a confrontational and unpleasant experience.
Similarly, where there is a great deal at stake in a negotiation,
then it may be appropriate to prepare in detail and legitimate
"gamesmanship" to gain advantage. Anyone who has been
involved with large sales negotiations will be familiar with
this.
Neither of these approaches is usually much good for resolving
disputes with people with whom you have an ongoing relationship:
If one person plays hardball, then this disadvantages the other
person – this may, quite fairly, lead to reprisal later.
Similarly, using tricks and manipulation during a negotiation
can undermine trust and damage teamwork. While a manipulative
person may not get caught out if negotiation is infrequent,
this is not the case when people work together routinely. Here,
honesty and openness are almost always the best policies.
Preparing for a successful negotiation…
Depending on the scale of the disagreement, some preparation
may be appropriate for conducting a successful negotiation.
For small disagreements, excessive preparation
can be counter-productive because it takes time that is better
used elsewhere. It can also be seen as manipulative because,
just as it strengthens your position, it can weaken the other
person’s.
However, if you need to resolve a major disagreement,
then make sure you prepare thoroughly. Using our free worksheet,
think through the following points before you start negotiating:
Goals: what do you want to get
out of the negotiation? What do you think the other person
wants?
Trades: What do you and the other
person have that you can trade? What do you each have that
the other wants? What are you each comfortable giving away?
Alternatives: if you don’t
reach agreement with the other person, what alternatives
do you have? Are these good or bad? How much does it matter
if you do not reach agreement? Does failure to reach an
agreement cut you out of future opportunities? And what
alternatives might the other person have?
Relationships: what is the history
of the relationship? Could or should this history impact
the negotiation? Will there be any hidden issues that may
influence the negotiation? How will you handle these?
Expected outcomes: what outcome
will people be expecting from this negotiation? What has
the outcome been in the past, and what precedents have been
set?
The consequences: what are the
consequences for you of winning or losing this negotiation?
What are the consequences for the other person?
Power: who has what power in the
relationship? Who controls resources? Who stands to lose
the most if agreement isn’t reached? What power does
the other person have to deliver what you hope for?
Possible solutions: based on all
of the considerations, what possible compromises might there
be?
Style is critical…
For a negotiation to be 'win-win', both parties
should feel positive about the negotiation once it's over. This
helps people keep good working relationships afterwards. This
governs the style of the negotiation – histrionics and
displays of emotion are clearly inappropriate because they undermine
the rational basis of the negotiation and because they bring
a manipulative aspect to them.
Despite this, emotion can be an important
subject of discussion because people's emotional needs must
fairly be met. If emotion is not discussed where it needs to
be, then the agreement reached can be unsatisfactory and temporary.
Be as detached as possible when discussing your own emotions
– perhaps discuss them as if they belong to someone else.
Negotiating successfully…
The
negotiation itself is a careful exploration of your position
and the other person’s position, with the goal of finding
a mutually acceptable compromise that gives you both as much
of what you want as possible. People's positions are rarely
as fundamentally opposed as they may initially appear - the
other person may have very different goals from the ones you
expect!
In an ideal situation, you will find that the other person wants
what you are prepared to trade, and that you are prepared to
give what the other person wants.
If this is not the case and one person must give way, then it
is fair for this person to try to negotiate some form of compensation
for doing so – the scale of this compensation will often
depend on the many of the factors we discussed above. Ultimately,
both sides should feel comfortable with the final solution if
the agreement is to be considered win-win.
Only consider win-lose negotiation if you don't need to have
an ongoing relationship with the other party as, having lost,
they are unlikely to want to work with you again. Equally, you
should expect that if they need to fulfill some part of a deal
in which you have "won," they may be uncooperative
and legalistic about the way they do this.
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