How to Interview a Friend for a Job

Staying Professional With People You Know

How to Interview a Friend for a Job - Staying Professional With People You Know

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Keep your friendship and integrity intact when interviewing someone you know.

Interviewing a friend for a job comes with particular risks. You could end up being biased against them in a bid to seem fair, for instance. Or, if they do get the job, how will you handle people assuming the new team member was only appointed because of your friendship?

However, while there are many difficulties, the potential "wins" of interviewing a friend make it a challenge worth tackling.

In this article, we explore the benefits and pitfalls of interviewing a friend, and look at seven tips for doing so in a way that protects your relationship and your integrity.

The Pros and Cons of Interviewing a Friend

Interviewing someone who you know well – a friend, an old colleague or a family member, for instance – brings with it a unique set of challenges. For example, their behavior and comments during the interview could reflect well or badly on you.

You also need to interview objectively, but the pressure of "doing the right thing" could lead you to overcompensate for your friend's weaknesses or to downplay their strengths. And that could unfairly disadvantage or boost their chances of success.

If you do hire a friend, this could lead to other potential problems. For example, your team members may feel they were hired simply because of their association with you. Also, there may be speculation or rumors that you offered them a higher salary – as research shows can happen when friends hire friends. [1]

Interview your friend in the right way, however, and it could be a fantastic win-win situation. For example, the interview itself will likely be a more relaxed experience, allowing you and your friend to perform at their best.

If you then hire your friend after a process that was transparent and fair, you'll have a supportive, competent new team member who fits the role and your organization.

7 Tips for Interviewing a Friend

Let's look at seven tips for interviewing a friend fairly and successfully.


Remember, your focus must be on giving every candidate a fair and equal chance. Always act ethically and legally in your recruitment process.

1. Declare the Nature of Your Relationship

When you discover that you'll be interviewing someone who you know, speak up. Tell your human resources department, and seek legal advice if appropriate.

In some situations, interviewing a friend could be seen as a significant conflict of interest, or may not even be permitted by your organization.

Be honest about how you know them, how long you've been friends, and how close your relationship is.

2. Decide Whether to Participate

The demands of work and friendship can be contradictory (consider the possible awkwardness of having to manage – and perhaps discipline – your friend). So, it may be wise to step aside if you have any doubt about your ability to remain balanced and impartial during the interviewing process.

If you do choose to be involved in the interview, don't conduct it alone. Ask a colleague to attend, as well as a representative from HR (if one is available), to ensure an impartial viewpoint.


If you walk into the interview room and realize that you know the interviewee, take a moment to think about the situation, and decide how you want to proceed. If possible, remove yourself from the interview for a few minutes and discuss the situation with a member of HR or a colleague.

3. Establish Boundaries

At the start of the interview, explain what will happen during the recruitment process, what your role will be, how interviewees will be scored and assessed, and who will make the final decision.

Stating this information upfront makes everyone aware of the work-place boundaries and their respective responsibilities. This will help keep the interview process objective and fair.

4. Examine Your Biases

It's crucial to avoid bias in interviews, so evaluate your own beliefs, and keep a critical watch on your comments and decisions during the interview. If in doubt, always seek a second opinion.

For example, you might "just know" that your friend would be perfect for the role, even though they have never worked in your industry before. Hence, you overlook their weaknesses and hire them.

Or, your friend may have great potential but you focus on their poor timekeeping outside of work and dismiss their chances before the interview even begins.


Openly acknowledge the unusual circumstances at the start of the interview, as it's likely to be an unfamiliar (and perhaps uncomfortable) situation for everyone involved. Doing so will likely reduce tension and avoid a possible unfair evaluation of your friend.

5. Consider the Ethical Dilemmas

Interviewing someone you already have a relationship with can present some ethical dilemmas. For instance, your friend could say something that you know is untrue – do you speak up? Or, if they fail to mention something positive about their work history, should you say something on their behalf?

So, consider in advance how you would act if an ethical dilemma were to arise. Our article, How to Be Ethical at Work can help.

6. Remember the Long-Term Objectives

Just as you would for any other interview, remember what tasks the interviewee will need to fulfill, and why you're hiring for the role in the first place. What do you want that person to achieve?

Yes, working with a friend could be great (for example, you'll have things in common and an established rapport). But can that person really help you to meet your team's and organization's longer-term objectives?

Writing a robust job description – with clear competency and objectives criteria for the role – will help you to focus on what matters most in the interview.

Familiarizing yourself with your organization's mission and goals, too, will also help you to interview objectively, and fully focus on what any potential employee needs to offer.

7. Plan for the Outcome

If your friend is successful, you need to ensure that they are treated fairly by you and other team members upon appointment. It may help to create a positive narrative about your incoming friend, to counter any suspicions of favoritism.

Explain that you will assess your friend using the same measures and means employed to review everyone else's performance. Team dynamics can be affected by sensitive situations like this, so watch out for danger signs of disengagement, or even bullying or harassment.

Actively address any concerns that your existing team members may have by discussing the issue one-on-one. You could also establish a team charter so that everyone knows where they stand.

Tip 1:

You also need to be prepared to tell your friend that they didn't get the job. Our article on Delivering Bad News can help you to approach this difficult conversation with tact. Passing on this news can be hard on both of you, so be sure to offer kind but constructive feedback on their performance, and to remind them that it's nothing personal.

Tip 2:

For more advice on conducting interviews, see our articles on Hiring People: the Questions to Ask, and How to Run Competency Based Interviews.

Key Points

Interviewing a friend for a job has its pitfalls. But for the right person and the right role, it's a challenge worth tackling.

When interviewing a friend, declare the nature of your relationship immediately. Decide whether to even participate in the process. It may be wise to step aside if you have any doubt about your ability to remain impartial.

Establish boundaries, and explain what will happen during the recruitment process and who will make the final decision.

Examine your biases and if in doubt, always seek a second opinion. Consider in advance how you would act if an ethical dilemma were to arise.

Remember your long-term objectives and keep in mind what tasks the interviewee will need to perform. If your friend is successful, create a positive narrative about them, to counter any suspicions of favoritism.

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