| |
| |
With Mind Tools' "How to Lead: Discover
the Leader Within You", learn the 48
essential skills needed to be a highly effective
and well-respected leader.
Click for more>>
|
Conflict Resolution
Resolving conflict rationally and effectively
In many cases, conflict in the workplace
just seems to be a fact of life. We've all seen situations
where different people with different goals and needs have
come into conflict. And we've all seen the often-intense
personal animosity that can result.
The fact that conflict exists, however,
is not necessarily a bad thing: As long as it is resolved
effectively, it can lead to personal and professional growth.
In many cases, effective conflict resolution
skills can make the difference between positive and negative outcomes.
The good news is that by resolving conflict
successfully, you can solve many of the problems that it
has brought to the surface, as well as getting benefits
that you might not at first expect:
- Increased understanding: The discussion needed to resolve
conflict expands people's awareness of the situation, giving
them an insight into how they can achieve their own goals without
undermining those of other people;
- Increased group cohesion: When conflict is resolved effectively,
team members can develop stronger mutual respect, and a renewed
faith in their ability to work together; and
- Improved self-knowledge: Conflict pushes individuals to examine
their goals in close detail, helping them understand the things that are most important
to them, sharpening their focus, and enhancing their effectiveness.
However, if conflict is not handled effectively,
the results can be damaging. Conflicting goals can quickly turn
into personal dislike. Teamwork breaks down. Talent is wasted
as people disengage from their work. And it's easy to end up in
a vicious downward spiral of negativity and recrimination.
If you're to
keep your team or organization working effectively, you
need to stop this downward spiral as soon as you can. To do this,
it helps to understand two of the theories that lie behind effective
conflict resolution techniques:
Understanding the Theory: Conflict Styles
In the 1970s Kenneth Thomas and Ralph Kilmann identified five
main styles of dealing with conflict that vary in their degrees
of cooperativeness and assertiveness. They argued that people
typically have a preferred conflict resolution style. However
they also noted that different styles were most useful in different
situations. The Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI) helps you to
identify which style you tend towards when conflict arises.
Thomas and Kilmann's styles are:
Competitive: People who tend towards
a competitive style take a firm stand, and know what they
want. They usually operate from a position of power, drawn
from things like position, rank, expertise, or persuasive
ability. This style can be useful when there is an emergency
and a decision needs to be make fast; when the decision
is unpopular; or when defending against someone who is trying
to exploit the situation selfishly. However it can leave
people feeling bruised, unsatisfied and resentful when used
in less urgent situations.
Collaborative: People tending towards a collaborative
style try to meet the needs of all people involved. These
people can be highly assertive but unlike the competitor,
they cooperate effectively and acknowledge that everyone
is important. This style is useful when a you need to bring
together a variety of viewpoints to get the best solution;
when there have been previous conflicts in the group; or
when the situation is too important for a simple trade-off.
Compromising: People who prefer a compromising style try
to find a solution that will at least partially satisfy everyone.
Everyone is expected to give up something, and the compromiser
him- or herself also expects to relinquish something. Compromise
is useful when the cost of conflict is higher than the cost of
losing ground, when equal strength opponents are at a standstill
and when there is a deadline looming.
Accommodating: This style indicates a willingness to meet
the needs of others at the expense of the person’s own needs.
The accommodator often knows when to give in to others, but can
be persuaded to surrender a position even when it is not warranted.
This person is not assertive but is highly cooperative. Accommodation
is appropriate when the issues matter more to the other party,
when peace is more valuable than winning, or when you want to
be in a position to collect on this “favor” you gave. However
people may not return favors, and overall this approach is unlikely
to give the best outcomes.
Avoiding: People tending towards this style seek to evade
the conflict entirely. This style is typified by delegating controversial
decisions, accepting default decisions, and not wanting to hurt
anyone’s feelings. It can be appropriate when victory is impossible,
when the controversy is trivial, or when someone else is in a
better position to solve the problem. However in many situations
this is a weak and ineffective approach to take.
Once you understand the different styles, you can use them to
think about the most appropriate approach (or mixture of approaches)
for the situation you're in. You can also think about your own
instinctive approach, and learn how you need to change this if
necessary.
Ideally you can adopt an approach that meets the situation,
resolves the problem, respects people's legitimate interests,
and mends damaged working relationships.
Understanding The Theory:
The "Interest-Based Relational Approach"
The second theory is commonly referred to as the "Interest-Based
Relational (IBR) Approach". This conflict resolution
strategy respects individual differences while helping people avoid becoming
too entrenched in a fixed position.
In resolving conflict using this approach, you follow these rules:
- Make sure that good relationships are the first priority: As far as possible, make sure that you treat the other calmly
and that you try to build mutual respect. Do your best to be
courteous to one-another and remain constructive under pressure;
- Keep people and problems separate: Recognize
that in many cases the other person is not just "being
difficult" – real and valid differences can lie behind
conflictive positions. By separating the problem from the person,
real issues can be debated without damaging working relationships;
- Pay attention to the interests that are being presented: By listening carefully you'll most-likely understand why the
person is adopting his or her position;
- Listen first; talk second: To solve a problem
effectively you have to understand where the other person is
coming from before defending your own position;
- Set out the “Facts”: Agree and establish
the objective, observable elements that will have an impact
on the decision; and
- Explore options together: Be open to the
idea that a third position may exist, and that you can get to
this idea jointly.
By following these rules, you can often keep contentious discussions
positive and constructive. This helps to prevent the antagonism
and dislike which so-often causes conflict to spin out of control.
Using the Tool: A Conflict Resolution Process
Based on these
approaches, a starting point for dealing with conflict
is to identify the overriding conflict style employed by yourself,
your team or your organization.
Over time, people's conflict management styles tend to mesh,
and a “right” way to solve conflict emerges. It's good to recognize
when this style can be used effectively, however make sure that
people understand that different styles may suit different situations.
Look at the circumstances, and think about the style that may
be appropriate.
Then use the process below to resolve the conflict:
Step One: Set the Scene
If appropriate to the situation, agree the rules of the IBR
Approach (or at least consider using the approach yourself.)
Make sure that people understand that the conflict may be a mutual
problem, which may be best resolved through discussion and negotiation
rather than through raw aggression.
If you are involved in the conflict, emphasize the fact that
you are presenting your perception of the problem. Use active
listening skills to ensure you hear and understand other’s
positions and perceptions.
- Restate
- Paraphrase
- Summarize
And make sure that when you talk, you're using an adult, assertive approach rather than a submissive or aggressive style.
Step Two: Gather Information
Here you are trying to get to the underlying interests, needs,
and concerns. Ask for the other person’s viewpoint and confirm
that you respect his or her opinion and need his or her cooperation
to solve the problem.
Try to understand his or her motivations and goals, and see how
your actions may be affecting these.
Also, try to understand the conflict in objective terms: Is it
affecting work performance? damaging the delivery to the client?
disrupting team work? hampering decision-making? or so on. Be
sure to focus on work issues and leave personalities out of the
discussion.
- Listen with empathy and see the conflict from the other person’s
point of view
- Identify issues clearly and concisely
- Use “I” statements
- Remain flexible
- Clarify feelings
Step Three: Agree the Problem
This sounds like an obvious step, but often different
underlying needs, interests and goals can cause people to perceive
problems very differently. You'll need to agree the problems that
you are trying to solve before you'll find a mutually acceptable
solution.
Sometimes different people will see different but interlocking
problems - if you can't reach a common perception of the problem,
then at the very least, you need to understand what the other
person sees as the problem.
Step Four: Brainstorm Possible Solutions
If everyone is going to feel satisfied with the resolution, it
will help if everyone has had fair input in generating solutions.
Brainstorm possible solutions, and be open to all ideas, including
ones you never considered before.
Step Five: Negotiate a Solution
By this stage, the conflict may be resolved: Both sides may better
understand the position of the other, and a mutually satisfactory
solution may be clear to all.
However you may also have uncovered real differences between
your positions. This is where a technique like win-win
negotiation can be useful to find a solution that, at least
to some extent, satisfies everyone.
There are three guiding principles here: Be Calm, Be Patient,
Have Respect…
Key Points
Conflict in the workplace can be incredibly destructive to good
teamwork.
Managed in the wrong way, real and legitimate differences between
people can quickly spiral out of control, resulting in situations
where co-operation breaks down and the team's mission is threatened.
This is particularly the case where the wrong approaches to conflict
resolution are used.
To calm these situations down, it helps to take a positive approach
to conflict resolution, where discussion is courteous and non-confrontational,
and the focus is on issues rather than on individuals. If this
is done, then, as long as people listen carefully and explore
facts, issues and possible solutions properly, conflict can often
be resolved effectively.
MindTools.com - Join Our Community!
In our next article, learn about how to use Mission Statements
and Vision Statements to get people working together in the same
direction. To read this, click "Next Article" below.
New Articles (Not included in the Mind Tools E-book.)
* Shows articles available in full only to Career Excellence Club Premium members
A Bit of Perfume - Giving praise, by Bruna Martinuzzi
Blake Mouton Managerial Grid - Balancing task and people-oriented leadership
Working in Virtual Teams - Team working that overcomes time and space*
Hofstede's Cultural Dimensions - Understanding values around the World
The Uncertainty Factor - by Bruna Martinuzzi
Optimism - The hidden asset, by Bruna Martinuzzi
A Leader's Mood - The dimmer switch of performance, by Bruna Martinuzzi
Humility - The most beautiful word in the English language, by Bruna Martinuzzi
"I Swear by Apollo" - Being accountable to yourself in leadership
What's Empathy Got to Do With It? by Bruna Martinuzzi
Cross Cultural Leadership*
Leading Equals - Motivating people effectively, without authority*
Crisis Planning - Preparing your response to the unexpected*
A full list of Mind Tools articles is available here.
return to top
Learn to manage the stress in your life with our sister site, stress.mindtools.com.
Mind Tools Store: Mind Tools Ebook, Make Time for Success
Stress Management Masterclass, How to Lead, Design Your Life
Relaxation MP3s
© Mind Tools Ltd, 1995-2008, All Rights Reserved
For requests to reprint or reproduce material from this site, please contact our Permissions Center.
Store · Search · Newsletter · Downloads · Advertisers · Affiliates
MindTools.com is one of the Internet's most-visited career skills resources.
Click here to see analysis.
Time
Management
