> Home > Career Skills > Emotional Intelligence
Time Management
Useful Links
 
Become a member today and start enjoying a long and successful career!

The MindTools Career Excellence gives you the training, coaching and support you need to win. Take our FREE TOUR, and find out what it can do for you!
Recent Discussions:
 
Quick Start
 
Relevant
Courses & Resources
  Career Excellence
with a Mind Tools
Coach
 
 
Mind Tools Coach - Sharon Juden
 
 

Mind Tools Career Coaches give you the focused personal help you need to find direction, think through your goals, and make the very most of your life and career.

Find Out More >>

 
     
 

Mind Tools Ebook

 
 

 
 

The key tools on the Mind Tools site, brought together into one easily downloadable, easily printable PDF.

More>>

 
     

   Mind Tools
E-book
 
  


Mind Tools E-book

The key tools on the Mind Tools site, brought together into one easily downloadable, easily printable PDF.

More>>

Emotional Intelligence

Developing Strong "People Skills"

We probably all know people, either at work or in our personal lives, who are really good listeners. No matter what kind of situation we're in, they always seem to know just what to say - and how to say it - so that we're not offended or upset. They're caring and considerate, and even if we don't find a solution to our problem, we usually leave feeling more hopeful and optimistic.

We probably also know people who are masters at managing their emotions. They don't get angry in stressful situations. Instead, they have the ability to look at a problem and calmly find a solution. They're excellent decision makers, and they know when to trust their intuition. Regardless of their strengths, however, they're usually willing to look at themselves honestly. They take criticism well, and they know when to use it to improve their performance.

People like this have a high degree of emotional intelligence, or EI. They know themselves very well, and they're also able to sense the emotional needs of others.

Would you like to be more like this?

As more and more people accept that emotional intelligence is just as important to professional success as technical ability, organizations are increasingly using EI when they hire and promote.

For example, one large cosmetics company recently revised their hiring process for salespeople to choose candidates based on emotional intelligence. The result? Salespeople hired with the new system have sold, on average, $91,000 more than salespeople selected under the old system. There has also been significantly lower staff turnover among the group chosen for their emotional intelligence.

So, what exactly is emotional intelligence, and what can you do to improve yours?

What Is Emotional Intelligence?

We all have different personalities, different wants and needs, and different ways of showing our emotions. Navigating through this all takes tact and cleverness - especially if we hope to succeed in life. This is where emotional intelligence becomes important.

Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize your emotions, understand what they're telling you, and realize how your emotions affect people around you. Emotional intelligence also involves your perception of others: when you understand how they feel, this allows you to manage relationships more effectively.

People with high emotional intelligence are usually successful in most things they do. Why? Because they're the ones that others want on their team. When people with high EI send an email, it gets answered. When they need help, they get it. Because they make others feel good, they go through life much more easily than people who are easily angered or upset.

Characteristics of Emotional Intelligence

Daniel Goleman, an American psychologist, developed a framework of five elements that define emotional intelligence:

  1. Self-Awareness: People with high emotional intelligence are usually very self-aware. They understand their emotions, and because of this, they don't let their feelings rule them. They're confident – because they trust their intuition and don't let their emotions get out of control.

    They're also willing to take an honest look at themselves. They know their strengths and weaknesses, and they work on these areas so they can perform better. Many people believe that this self-awareness is the most important part of emotional intelligence.

  2. Self-Regulation: This is the ability to control emotions and impulses. People who self-regulate typically don't allow themselves to become too angry or jealous, and they don't make impulsive, careless decisions. They think before they act. Characteristics of self-regulation are thoughtfulness, comfort with change, integrity, and the ability to say no.

  3. Motivation: People with a high degree of emotional intelligence are usually motivated. They're willing to defer immediate results for long-term success. They're highly productive, love a challenge, and are very effective in whatever they do.

  4. Empathy: This is perhaps the second-most important element of emotional intelligence. Empathy is the ability to identify with and understand the wants, needs, and viewpoints of those around you. People with empathy are good at recognizing the feelings of others, even when those feelings may not be obvious. As a result, empathetic people are usually excellent at managing relationships, listening, and relating to others. They avoid stereotyping and judging too quickly, and they live their lives in a very open, honest way.

  5. Social Skills: It's usually easy to talk to and like people with good social skills, another sign of high emotional intelligence. Those with strong social skills are typically team players. Rather than focus on their own success first, they help others develop and shine. They can manage disputes, are excellent communicators, and are masters at building and maintaining relationships.

As you've probably determined, emotional intelligence can be a key to success in your life – especially in your career. The ability to manage people and relationships is very important in all leaders, so developing and using youremotional intelligence can be a good way to show others the leader inside of you.

How to Improve Your Emotional Intelligence

The good news is that emotional intelligence CAN be taught and developed. Many books and tests are available to help you determine your current EI, and identify where you may need to do some work. You can also use these tips:

  • Observe how you react to people. Do you rush to judgment before you know all of the facts? Do you stereotype? Look honestly at how you think and interact with other people. Try to put yourself in their place, and be more open and accepting of their perspectives and needs.

  • Look at your work environment. Do you seek attention for your accomplishments? Humility can be a wonderful quality, and it doesn't mean that you're shy or lack self-confidence. When you practice humility, you say that you know what you did, and you can be quietly confident about it. Give others a chance to shine - put the focus on them, and don't worry too much about getting praise for yourself.

  • Do a self-evaluation. What are your weaknesses? Are you willing to accept that you're not perfect and that you could work on some areas to make yourself a better person? Have the courage to look at yourself honestly - it can change your life.

  • Examine how you react to stressful situations. Do you become upset every time there's a delay or something doesn't happen the way you want? Do you blame others or become angry at them, even when it's not their fault? The ability to stay calm and in control in difficult situations is highly valued - in the business world and outside it. Keep your emotions under control when things go wrong.

  • Take responsibility for your actions. If you hurt someone's feelings, apologize directly – don't ignore what you did or avoid the person. People are usually more willing to forgive and forget if you make an honest attempt to make things right.

  • Examine how your actions will affect others – before you take those actions. If your decision will impact others, put yourself in their place. How will they feel if you do this? Would you want that experience? If you must take the action, how can you help others deal with the effects?

Key Points

Although "regular" intelligence is important to success in life, emotional intelligence is key to relating well to others and achieving your goals. Many people believe that emotional intelligence is at least as important as regular intelligence, and many companies now use EI testing to hire new staff.

Emotional intelligence is an awareness of your actions and feelings – and how they affect those around you. It also means that you value others, listen to their wants and needs, and are able to empathize or identify with them on many different levels.

Was this article helpful?  

Spread the Word:

del.icio.us    Digg it    reddit    StumbleUpon
Where to go from here: Join Mind Tools Free Newsletter
  Download & Print Next Article
 
 

New Articles (Not included in the Mind Tools E-book.)
* Shows articles available in full only to
Career Excellence Club Premium members

What's Your Reputation? - Building a reputation consistent with career goals*
Working with Powerful People - Manage relationships for maximum satisfaction*
Managing Your Boss - Developing an effective working relationship*
Working with Purpose - Bringing more meaning to your career*
Customer Service Mindset - Getting passionate about serving others*
Making the Right Career Move - Choosing the role that's best for you
Professional Networking - Building relationships for mutual benefit *
Dealing with Office Politics - Navigating the minefield*
Good Manners in the Office - Realizing there's no excuse for discourtesy*
Egos at Work - Managing a co-worker's superiority complex
Bullying in the Workplace - What is it and what can you do?*
Avoiding Discrimination - Minimize problems by being prepared*

A full list of Mind Tools articles is available here.

return to top

Learn to manage the stress in your life with our sister site, stress.mindtools.com.

Mind Tools Store: Mind Tools Ebook, Make Time for Success
 Stress Management Masterclass, How to Lead, Design Your Life
 Relaxation MP3s

© Mind Tools Ltd, 1995-2010, All Rights Reserved

For requests to reprint or reproduce material from this site, please contact our Permissions Center.

Store · Search · Newsletter · Downloads · Advertisers · Affiliates

MindTools.com is one of the Internet's most-visited career skills resources.
Click here to see analysis.

Mind Tools
Free E-Newsletter
New Career Skills - twice a month PLUS Planning Workbook Free!
Subscribe to our free e-newsletter, and get new skill-builder tools every two weeks. Plus get our Personal Development Plan Workbook worth US$19.99 free when you subscribe!
"Great newsletter. Simple and not too long. Great articles. Thank you."
Mandi J Luis, Burlington, Ontario, Canada
First name
Email
Privacy Policy
 
What People Say
About Mind Tools...

"Been meaning to pop off a note to your Team and yourself to say how appreciative I am of your erudite grasp of business tooling. I do, deeply appreciate your efforts."

Dorian Glass, Rhine Road, South Africa

"Thanks so much. I am so happy to have access to your newsletter. Great tool!"

Fami Sharif-Pour,
Woodland Hills, USA

"I am a avid reader of your newsletters and articles. I am from the island of Jamaica and do find your articles quite informative, inspring, motivating, creative and just GREAT. The style of writing is one which lures you to read more and more and even more. I would like to be able to write like that one day. Keep it up."

Germaine Gordon,
St. Catherine,
Jamaica

 
What Bugs You?
Let us know about anything wrong, or anything you don't like about this site, and you could win a US$50 Amazon voucher!
 
Sponsored Links



Search Now:
In Association with Amazon.com