Dealing with Difficult People

Learning to Fight Back... On Your Terms

Stay calm when dealing with difficult people.

Imagine this scenario: You're heading into work, and you're anxious about walking in the door. It's not because you don't love your job. It's because of Phil. He constantly provokes and angers you, and you're not sure you can keep coping with the stress caused by his behavior.

Last week, he seemed to enjoy making you look bad in front of your boss. Yesterday, he was rude to you in front of your co-workers, and you didn't know what to say back. And today? You can't even guess what he's planning, but it's sure to make you miserable.

Do you have to deal with 'difficult' people at work? Do they create stress, cause negative emotions – and take up your valuable time? It's easy to feel you have no control over the situation. You may think you just have to put up with people who behave like that.

Life is far too short to accept being miserable, however. If you're faced with a difficult or rude person on a regular basis, then you must address the situation. This article will equip you with the strategies and techniques to do just that.

Causes and Types of 'Difficult' Behavior

We've probably all wondered, at one point or another, why people have to be rude or unkind. The reasons may vary. Some people behave in a negative way to cope with stress. Others may not feel good enough at their jobs, so they act negatively to keep the attention away from their true performance (or lack of performance). Still others simply enjoy the feeling of power that comes with criticizing and being cruel to people. (See our article on Egos at Work for tips on managing a co-worker's superiority complex.)

Everyone has their own reasons and motivations for their behavior. Although the causes are relevant in some cases, it's usually more helpful to know how to react when their negative behavior is directed at you.

Rudeness – even deliberately mean or cruel behavior – can show up in many different forms. Be aware of actions and behaviors such as these:

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